Squirrels on the Loose

The other day, I got hit by a squirrel. I was walking to class in a
half-awake state, absorbed in my thoughts. Suddenly, I saw a gray
flash. A feisty, furry fellow charged out of the hedge and crashed
into my leg. I yelled and jumped and almost landed on the squirrel
underfoot. After that bold introduction, the squirrel scurried around
aimlessly for a moment, probably a little dazed from the impact of
my powerful calf muscles. Then it disappeared without a trace into
the underbrush. Those who have never been rammed by a
squirrel may be surprised at how much inertia one traveling at full
speed can contain. I looked around for some good Samaritan to
offer me aid and sympathy, but instead people continued to walk
past, snickering as they went by, leaving me alone to form my
reactions.

As my initial shock subsided, I began to contemplate the sudden
awareness of my own vulnerability. Never before had I worried
about small animals charging into me out of nowhere. It was
simply too fanciful a concept to imagine. I assumed that they, like
me, in seeking to avoid personal calamity, would try to avoid
collisions with other physical objects. Now, however, I realize that
others do not always think the same way that we do. After all, how
many other species have the names of Homer, Plato, Aristotle,
and Virgil engraved on their libraries?

Squirrels and humans live in very close proximity to one another.
We see them every day, and yet we never really give them a
moment's thought. But while we're rushing around immersed in
our world, how many of us have ever wondered what kind of
impressions we have been making on the collective squirrel
psyche? On occasions such as this, we realize suddenly how little
we know of them and them of us. Although they did not express
their opinions publicly, it is likely that many squirrels and other
small animals (such as pigeons) rejoiced quietly, now that their
frustrations would be considered seriously.

Many socioeconomic factors were at play in this act of aggression.
The constant necessity of dodging people, so as to avoid getting
kicked or stepped on, could certainly lead to anger and frustration.
So could living in a largely treeless environment when one's
culture is dependent on the existence of a large concentration of
trees. Getting chased by a dog or a small child can certainly have a
traumatic effect on the mind of a young, impressionable squirrel.
Perhaps this squirrel could not endure seeing his family suffer
from the injustices of living in a society hostile to their way of life.
Also, this year's acorn harvest has been particularly disappointing.
All of these factors must have contributed to the squirrel's feeling
that he had to make a statement, however drastic it may have
been.

The important thing, however, is that we remember that this was
one isolated incident orchestrated by an individual squirrel
unwilling to negotiate a peaceful solution. We should not retaliate
against the entire squirrel species solely because our biased,
stereotyping minds conceive as all squirrels as the same.
Self-righteous taunting of squirrels and destruction of squirrel
habitats is simply not our way. It is also crucial that we do not allow
this unprecedented act to change that for which we stand.
Irrational fears should not lead to ridiculous measures such as
wearing shin guards and avoiding carrying around sunflower
seeds, as these would undermine the very freedom that defines
us. Nevertheless, it may be smart to check the return address on
our envelopes and make sure that is written with ink and not
etched with a claw.

We should avoid the temptation to demonize squirrels. I know I
feel a little uneasy when I see a squirrel nibbling on an acorn and
staring straight at me. But we should remind ourselves not to pass
judgment on all squirrels just because of the actions of an
individual. Although the militant squirrels may be the ones that get
our attention, many squirrels live peaceful lives and wish, just as
we do, that we could all just get along.

The author is a Columbia College sophomore.