Rock Critic Meanders

Columbia students often debate whether or not Logic and Rhetoric was a useful class. L&R was supposed to keep us from writing high school- or AP-style essays--those that emphasize structure over creative thought--even if they got us some pretty good grades. We were to take a meandering "journey" when writing an essay in this class, and we were not required to make a point at the end of our diatribes. Which was fine, evidently--a little frustrating, but okay.

Students who go through this exercise eventually give it up and go back to writing high school-style essays--albeit with a keener eye for editing--because, come on, those are the ones that give us the As. I think that only one group of writers continues to take unfocused "journeys" in essays: rock critics. In his collection of new essays Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto (Scribner, 2003), Chuck Klosterman ponders, and ponders and ponders, topics such as born-again Christianity, Star Wars, and why pornography works for men but not for women. I know it's an assumption that only music writers stray in their writing; perhaps I mean that rock writers are the best at it.

This collection of essays is generally getting rave reviews, save for a horrendous personal attack by Mark Ames in the New York Press. What frustrated Ames about the book was that Klosterman is bound to receive great reviews simply because of its subject matter and how people from Generations X and Y connect with it. Ames may have a point when he writes that a youngish hipster embraces mainstream elements of pop culture only because it is an irreverent and "authentic" act, one that is "uncool" but makes that hipster look cool anyway. Klosterman isn't bothering to make himself look cool by analyzing pop culture, but he probably had it in his mind, at least, that someone out there would think he was trying to posture himself as an irreverent kind of guy.

In the essay "Being Zack Morris," Klosterman tries to describe reality through the critical lens of Saved By The Bell. He argues that some elements of pop culture, such as Fleetwood Mac songs and SBTB, can illustrate how "important things are inevitably cliché." In SBTB's final season, Kelly and Jessie went missing for 12 episodes while a character named Tori took their place. When their high school graduation arrived, Kelly and Jessie were back without explanation, and Tori conveniently disappeared. Klosterman explains how easy it is for one to enter, leave, and re-enter a certain phase in life or a certain group of people at a certain moment in time (one example is of a student returning after a semester abroad and realizing that her friends have now had experiences that she can never relate to). He states, "Coming and going is more normal than it should be." At the end of the essay, Klosterman inches toward a conclusion when he says, "Saved By The Bell wasn't real, but neither is most of reality."

At that point, Klosterman loses the essay. On his writing journey, he takes the wrong turn at the trail's fork. The essay is not concerned with discussing why reality isn't real; it is concerned with using "low culture" to teach us subtle yet illuminating life lessons. In the midst of Zack Morris excitement, Klosterman fails to conclude his argument, as is the case in most of his essays. Granted, in the preface, Klosterman does state that most of these pieces were written before he went to sleep, but essentially, he took advantage of the L&R style of writing; he took a journey to missing his point. Unlike Columbia students, however, he wrote essays for the public to devour, and becoming too distracted to make a point is generally a no-no.

Using pop culture to try and explain reality to the extent that Klosterman does is indicative of rock music writing. In a nutshell, music critics try to find cultural diamonds in the musical rough, whether that rough is Soul Asylum, or even Britney or Blink 182. I think this book is meant mostly for other music writers (probably youngish male writers) to appreciate, not only because of its deluge of cultural references, but because of the sheer effort that Klosterman puts forth in trying to prove that life's questions can be answered through pop culture (which includes old sports, which is why I note a "probably youngish male" audience; I'm a die-hard hockey fan, but I know nothin' about Klosterman's Lakers and Celtics from 1980-89, save for Magic and Bird and whoever else was famous). In the end, music writers can really appreciate that. To the general public--more like the general population of hipsters--Klosterman may seem like a fellow who just likes to talk way too much about mainstream culture and completes his essays by obscuring his points. From one point of view, Klosterman may seem like a helpless obsessive who thinks much too much about pop culture. From another point of view, Klosterman is just doing what we CC students were taught in school.