Wind, Water, and Jealousy: What No One Considers

Not all that glitters can be measured in square feet. Room selection season traditionally engenders an unhealthy obsession with floor plans and room dimensions but, this year, avoid buyer's remorse by considering some points of view that are often overlooked:

The Hot Water Factor

Close your eyes and imagine that fall semester is about to begin. You've just moved into your fantastic new room, and that first morning when you wake up in your new bed, there's a smug grin plastered to your face.

It's still there as you trudge off to the bathroom, where you hop in the shower and promptly discover--as that grin is replaced by a look of terror and a blood-curdling scream--that some residence halls have not yet been modernized with the technology necessary for the adequate production of hot water. (Anecdotal evidence indicts Schapiro and Claremont.)

Yes, unfortunately, some students report that the price they pay for personal hygiene is quotidian hypothermia. More generally, the entire bathroom experience is something you can't afford to ignore when you're considering your options.

Location

According to conventional wisdom, the intersection of 116th and Claremont is one of the windiest in the city, living across Amsterdam is like moving to a different time zone, and Plimpton lies almost at the edge of the known universe. Don't ask us to explain the paradox, but what few people seem to realize is that conventional wisdom may be on to something.

Social Life

As the capital of suite-style living for Columbia students, East Campus is home to many of Columbia's finest (and most tasteful) parties. When you realize that stumbling home drunk just means riding the elevator or crossing the courtyard, you'll be so elated you'll almost forget that you live in a cattle-car double in a suite with three upperclassmen you despise.

Envy

Most people will tell you that Hogan is the choicest residence hall at Columbia, and housing selection patterns seem to agree. If you live there, expect to face a year of fiery envy from your classmates, especially those quartered in the adjoining Broadway Residence Hall. Sure, you get comfortable singles, sizeable living rooms, and well-appointed kitchens--but do those perks really justify jeopardizing your relationships with your residentially-challenged senior friends?

The Dishwasher Factor

Although this factor does garner its share of consideration, it is worth restating the obvious, because the sanctity of the mighty dishwasher cannot be overstated. It is a legitimate object of worship, as will be quite apparent to those students whose kitchens are not so equipped. Imagine a typical day in your life over the next year--but when you see "spend 15 minutes washing the dishes," feel free to substitute "sprawl on the couch with the remote and a six-pack." We kid you not: it will change your life.