Brain Food

Cooking up a batch of calf or lamb brains may seem unappealing. They require a trip out of the neighborhood. They seem like a lot of work. They are brains.

But look past these paltry excuses, and you'll find and outstanding meal. For one thing, the signal-conducting processes of sensory and motor neurons are enshealthed in myelin, which consists of lipids (giving brains a rich taste and creamy texture) concentrically layered with protein (which you should be eating anyway).

Finding brains was a challenge. After I started calling small specialty butchers, I stopped getting ahold of people who speak English. I had some version of this conversation a dozen times:

"Hello, do you carry calf or lamb brains?"

"No lamb today."

"Ok, but do you sell brains?"

"Beef?"

"Damn it!"

So for all I know, the city is chock full of brains, and I just don't speak enough Cantonese to find them. It's possible to get fresh brains directly from small farms, but I don't know any farmers in the Tristate Area. I was finally successful with a call to Ottomanell's, a temple of meat in Greenwich Village (Ottomanelli's is located at 285 Bleeker Street between Barrow and Jones), where they sell fresh calf brains and frozen lamb brains. And now for the best part: Ottomanelli's will sell you brains for $4.50 a pound. At this price, you can hardly afford to keep eating noodles.

Finally, brains are remarkably easy to prepare, and the variations are nearly endless. Included are a few recipes to get you started.

All recipes are for about a pound of brains, from either calves or lambs (an average veal brain weighs between 11 and 14 ounces).

Basic Preparation:

1. Soak brains in cold water for two hours. Remove the thin outer membrane by sliding you fingers along the crevices of the brain; if you are with people, try not to enjoy this too obviously. Rinse the brains with cold water, and soak again for an hour.

2. Place brains in a large saucepan, cover with water, salt lightly, and bring to a simmer. Cover and poach for fifteen minutes.

3. If you like, spice this up-add a sliced onion, cloves, garlic, peppercorns, thyme, or bay leaf. Experiment.

Pan-Fried Brains:

1. Cut poached brains into 1/2 inch slices and coat lightly with flour.

2. Heat olive oil, butter, or a combination of the two in a sizeable skillet. Gently brown the brains until nicely crusted, adding more butter or oil as needed.

3. Sprinkle a tablespoon chopped sage leaves (preferably fresh, though dried if you must) and two or three tablespoons capers, and continue to cook over reduced heat. Season with salt and pepper.

4. Squeeze the juice of two lemons over the brains and serve warm.

Calves' Brains Beurre Noir:

1. Classic French preparation. Proceed as above, but omit the sage. After step 3, place a few tablespoons of butter in a saucepan and cook until black and smoking.

2. Pour blackened butter over the brains and sprinkle with chopped parsely. Serve immediately.

Breaded Brain Sandwich:

1. Drain poached brains, and slice thinly.

2. Dip individual slices in beaten egg, coat with breadcrumbs, and sautee for a few minutes in butter or olive oil.

3. Heap brains on bread, and add your favorite fixings. Break this out on the steps of Low and make your friends jealous.

Brain Curry:

1. Drain poached brains and cut into 8 to 10 slices.

2. Prepare 1/3 cup well-chopped onion, a couple cloves of sliced garlic, and a hot green chili, seeded and roughly chopped. Place them all in oil and fry for 2 minutes.

3. Add curry powder to taste, then 3/4 cup coconut milk, a teaspoon of salt, and, if you have it, a few drops of tamarind extract.

4. Add the sliced brains and a seeded, sliced bell pepper. Cook for about 10 minutes and serve.