116 Things to Do at Columbia

When it comes to the archetypal college experience, Columbia will never be confused with many of the schools that surround us in the magazine college rankings. We have no bicker, no eating clubs, and no naked Olympics in the quad-in fact, we have only one true quad, just north of St. Paul's, and nobody goes there. There are no gargoyles overseeing you through four years of progress, our football stadium is five miles away, and our basketball team plays underground. There's a reason that F. Scott Fitzgerald's gilded heroes went to the Ivies in New Haven and New Jersey.

And yet, it would be a lie to say that Columbia is without its own unique set of traditions. There is a Columbia lore, made up of the shared experiences of thousands of students every year and the treks that returning alumni make to their old campus haunts. However, here is our list of things we recommend every student do by the time they graduate, not necessarily because we enjoyed all of the experiences or they all helped us, but because we believe that no Columbia student's career is complete without them.

1. Enter the 116th Street gates or participate in the candle-lighting on the first night of orientation.
2. Go to Orgo Night.
3. Make a spare key with an old credit card and an Exacto blade.
4. Walk over the Brooklyn Bridge with your floor-mates.
5. Eat a slice of Koronet pizza and seasoned chicken from JJ's in the same night.
6. Eat and get drunk with an administrator and your Lit Hum or freshman-seminar professor.
7. Go to a World Leaders Forum event.
8. Go to a fireside chat.
9. Explore the tunnels.
10. Watch a sunrise over Morningside Park after pulling an all-nighter.
11. Pretend to be interested in a club to get free shit; get spammed for the next four years.
12. Get sexiled. Sleep in the lounge.
13. Watch the Varsity Show all four years.
14. Spend a night drinking on the Low steps with friends.
15. Go to the campus tree-lighting and yule log ceremony.
16. Dance with one of the belly dancers at Casbah Rouge.
17. Lock yourself out of your room while in a towel and flip-flops. Proceed to Hartley.
18. Pull an all-nighter with the rest of your floor studying for the Lit Hum final.
19. Protest something.
20. Sled down the Low steps on a John Jay tray.
21. Forget to transfer at 96th Street and end up in central Harlem.
22. Actually explore Manhattanville and Harlem.
23. Find the owl on Alma Mater.
24. Rock the glass house.
25. Take Freedom of Speech and Press with Bollinger.
26. Bike ride through Times Square at midnight with Ken Jackson's History of the City of New York class.
27. Take a class with professor Foner.
28. Go to midnight breakfast.
29. Catch someone moving your laundry.
30. Make friends with your security guard and janitorial staff (and buy their CDs if they are selling them).
31. Run the PrezBo 5K.
32. Watch a football game at Baker Field.
33. Go to a Bacchanal concert.
34. Drink on the Low steps.
35. Quote a Core text out of class and realize that you're now a tool.
35. Take the walk of shame across campus.
36. Go to a concert for a campus music group.
37. Study abroad, preferably at Reid Hall in Paris or the Berlin Consortium.
38. Change your major.
39. Go to mass at Riverside Church or St. John the Divine.
40. Do a trip with Urban New York.
41. Enroll in a 9 a.m. or Friday class; never go.
42. Volunteer with Community Impact.
43. See a movie star filming on campus. Later, obnoxiously point out Columbia scenes to friends and family while watching movie in theater.
44. Go to frat parties only for free beer.
45. Sneak onto the roof of Mudd or Sulz to watch the sun set.
46. Have your 21st birthday party at Mama Mexico.
47. Get the half-and-half pasta (half alfredo, half marinara) at Ferris Booth.
48. Go to a jazz show at St. Nick's Pub.
49. Get parents to pay for dinner at Le Monde or Sezz Medi.
50. Get a Broadway Shake at Tom's.
51. Find your study spot in Butler.
52. Go to Hungarian Pastry Shop; realize Saurin Park is better.
53. Spend a vacation on campus while it's empty.
54. Go to ADP's Hot Jazz.
55. Watch the spring outdoor show by King's Crown or the Fruit Paunch 24-hour show.
56. Learn the fight song.
57. Get a fake ID.
58. Become disillusioned with the Core.
59. Spend a night talking on AIM rather than studying. Realize it's 7 a.m. and you've done nothing.
60. Ignore red flags on South Lawn and play football.
61. Go to the Organization of Pakistani Students' Hangama.
62. Take free-throws against Joe Jones.
63. Get cited by the RIAA for downloading "MmmBop."
64. Call CAVA for a friend.
65. Get CAVA-ed by a friend.
66. Go to Fed Bash.
67. Explore all five boroughs.
68. Wade in the Columbia fountains.
69. Participate in the Tent of Consent at Sexhibition.
70. Dress up and go to the Village Halloween Parade.
71. Participate in the Athena games.
72. Regret wearing heels after walking on College Walk.
73. Stay up for 72 straight hours.
74. Write a term paper in 24 hours.
75. Participate in Take Back the Night.
76. Get misquoted in Spec.
77. Watch the "Vagina Monologues" on Valentine's Day.
78. Lose friends in senior regroup.
79. Make dean's list.
80. Pass without ever scoring above a 60 on a test (SEAS only).
81. Pass without ever reading a book (Columbia College only).
82. Stand in line all night for L-registration; still get fucked (BC only).
82. Realize no matter how you do on your midterm, you'll still get a B.
83. Take part in Forty on Forty.
84. Get a sandwich at 212; don't pay for it.
85. Watch the naked run (extra points if you participate).
86. Take Barnard lab req; almost fail out.
87. Ride the lion and spin the molar.
88. Hide under your bed during a fire alarm.
89. Watch a movie at Ferris Reel.
90. Drink Red Bull for breakfast.
91. Host a prefrosh.
92. Participate in Barnard week.
93. Go to a professor's office hour.
94. Seriously consider dropping out every year-all the cool Columbians have.
95. Read Orientalism.
96. Use your CUID for free admission to MoMA often.
97. Attend a seder.
98. Have a drunken hookup after a night at The Heights; Awkwardly bump into said hookup everywhere.
99. Go to Health Services for being sick; leave with condoms.
100. Take the M60 to LaGuardia.
101. Go to Shea and Yankee stadiums; be a fan of the Mets or the Yankees, but not both.
102. Every year make a New Year's resolution to visit Dodge every day. Then don't.
103. Be an OL.
104. Go for a run in Riverside Park; find your next date.
105. Fall over after Dance Marathon.
106. Go on a citywide scavenger hunt.
107. Facebook-stalk a crush.
108. Hear Jeffrey Sachs or Sunil Gulati speak and experience liberal guilt. Relieve it by protesting.
109. Go to a CB9 meeting and find out what the hype is about.
110. Write a paper based entirely on Wikipedia and Google; get caught.
111. Write a really good paper; realize value of research librarians.
112. Work a campus work-study job swiping cards or stacking books.
113. Work an off-campus internship during the year.
114. Spend one summer living and working in the city.
115. Hook up in the Butler stacks.
116. Take the swim test the day before graduation.