Fading Rainbows

Earlier in the year I put the University on task to support its student-run gay organizations on campus; specifically, I mentioned that Columbia needed to do more to foster further understanding of the queer community. While we did see the Office of Multicultural Affairs add a LGBT advisor, I am left wondering what the Columbia Queer Alliance has done this school year.

Students come out of the closet every year, and if these students come out at Columbia, they seek outlets to meet others like them. However, if you're seeking others like yourself, you're limited to various online outlets-Facebook, Myspace, or, worse yet, Dlist.com-or, you reach out to the most visible group on campus, CQA.

CQA holds its meetings on Sundays. You sit in the room and gaze upon its eight or so committee members, and many come up with great ideas on how to educate all students about tolerance, self-awareness, and sexual identities; you may even speak up and offer an idea or two. You leave feeling like you've made new friends and you're ready to go into action, right? Well, don't count on it.

After 40 years of being one of the longest-operating gay and lesbian college student organization in the world, the CQA leadership has scheduled a six-hour conference in John Jay this week. I don't know about you, but I can't count on a single hand many students, gay or otherwise, who would bother in the last week of school prior to finals to stop by and chat it up with an already cliquey group.

In many meetings that I've personally sat in on I have heard CQA mention their significant budget; however, it appears that they never spend it. There were talks and go-arounds on everything from documentaries to parties to celebrity speakers, but the opportunity was squandered with bickering leadership and malaise-ridden volunteers.

Identity-building and self-awareness are fostered by socialization. If you're a queer student at Columbia, your socialization is reduced to New York City's gay scene, which can be daunting and dangerously self-destructive if not approached with caution. In the past 11 years of being an openly gay man, I have noticed that the fear of coming out comes not from what a person's family and peers would think, but is manifested more in what other gay people will think. Gay people of all ages fear ridicule by the queer community for having too much fat, not the right clothes, or lacking a hip n' gay personality.

In order to be taken seriously as a real outlet for gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and questioning students, CQA must become more than a Sunday social hour for its quasi-participatory student "leadership." It must do more than just flier cryptic messages on white paper that would only make sense to those more "tapped in" with gay culture. CQA relies too often on its own listserv and Facebook groups for people to show up. If you're just coming to terms with who you are, you're most likely not going to be on anyone's distribution list.

Some people might say that CQA has done more this year in coordinating a GS mixer, hosting dialogue on transgender identities, and hosting a successful QuAM kick-off party. But who holds anything GS-related at 6 p.m. when a majority of GS students are in class from 6:10 until 7:30 p.m., when many GSers hold careers and full-time jobs that dictate later class schedules? And how can we discuss transgender identities when we don't even do anything for students who are just gay or lesbian-identified? With such limited scope in topics, aren't we just educating a handful of students? Why not have Q&A forums with several perspectives and identities? And while the QuAM kick-off party was the highlight of anything social for gay and lesbian students, there was simply nothing sustaining beyond that.

In looking at the leadership of CQA and the other gay groups on campus, you would find that it is hardly approachable. If I was coming out today at 19, I would be terrified in speaking to anyone based on the fact that I wouldn't see anything in common with any of them on the surface. It should be mentioned that I've personally seen students use CQA meetings as an opportunity to date and meet others like them with romantic intensions. But it should also be said that I've seen most of the students just focus on the same two to three people in the group. And how can any newcomer feel comfortable with these circumstances in a group of less than ten? Is that what CQA meant by QuAm's juvenile motto, "Taste the Rainbow"? Columbia has taken a step in the right direction in hiring its adviser, but LGBT student leaders have a responsibility to meet the University half way. Perhaps together we can continue the path to a truly inclusive community.