Meet Me on 116th and Pompous Ass Avenue

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Oh, the pangs of Literature Humanities burn within my very core and spread like a cancerous disease, reaching my very extremities!
Without inducing any further gagging, Lit Hum is the melting pot in which Columbia provides two avenues of distinct dichotomy. One path is for the would-be-but-will-never-be philosopher, and the other is for the normal, sane Columbia intellectual. Let me make the distinction more obvious: one group throws terms like “a priori” and “neo-democratic” as many times as they can in discussions of The Iliad, while the other group is content with phrases like “Achilles totally hammered those crazy Trojans” and “Do you reckon Patroklos and Achilles got it on?” I must say, there is another group that doesn’t say anything at all, which is a shame, since they could be instrumental in overcoming the former group, here known as Group Pompous Ass.
As far as I know, the core, of which Literature Humanities is a part, is intended to foster breadth of knowledge and to teach students the ways of analyzing text and constructing intellectual argument. I certainly didn’t enroll for a heated debate between members of Group Pompous Ass on how The Iliad may represent a democratic society, which allowed Achilles to protest Agamemnon’s behavior. You can’t be serious, trying to transplant a modern political construct in a book with some big guy on clouds throwing lightning bolts and some sissy who stole some other guy’s lady (referring here to Paris and Menelaus, of course). To some extent, I admire the attempt.
I remember our first Lit Hum class. We had the chair of Lit Hum, Gareth Williams, introduce us to our first analysis of Homer’s text. As soon as the first comment was made, a domino effect occurred, and it didn’t take long to see many eager hands flying in the air and people approaching the microphone. Funnily enough, almost all of them received applause. Even funnier was the fact that the speakers thought their comments deserved applause. Sadly, half the auditorium was patronizing and parodying our fellow colleagues. If anything, Williams salvaged any remnant of dignified discussion, responding very diplomatically to the sometime questionable comments made in relation to the stimulus text.
Now, I’d also like to point out that I do not discourage the pursuit of greater knowledge and heated intellectual discussion. In fact, there are people who can carve out the big, verbose calls but actually make sense. I admire those rare breeds of people. But when you’re a high jumper running to get over the bar of greater knowledge and instead slam straight through the bar and face-plant on the ground, that’s when it’s time to wake up to reality and take it one bunny hop at a time.
Another typical Group Pompous Ass characteristic is the ability to say the simplest things in the most verbose, vomit-inducing way possible. And to top it off, they have another member of the Group Pompous Ass to reiterate exactly what the other member said, two seconds later and in slightly different words. Group Pompous Ass serves to impede progress, make mountains out of molehills, and force the eyes of the sane person to roll out of his or her sockets.
The next time I had class, I decided to provide some comic relief. Recall the embassy made to Achilleus in order to try to get him back to the battlefield. My argument was that Achilleus made uncharacteristic statements on honor on the basis that he was completely intoxicated. Before the embassy left to visit Achilleus, they had “filled the mixing-bowl with pure wine and passed it to all”; they had passed the courvoisier and “drunk as much as their hearts wished”. Not a good start to their plea. As they approach the shelter of Achilleus, amongst all the battle and strife, we come across “Achilleus delighting his heart in a lyre.” Achilleus is clearly in his own magical world of musical rapture. Upon acknowledging his guests, he calls Patroklos to “mix us a stronger drink,” implying they had already had a strong drink. The passivity in Achilleus’ statements can only support my probable theory that he was tanked. For some reason, my theory didn’t go down too well with my professor, who laughed and swept it quickly under the table.
In light of this, I think the burden of responsibility here to create the right Lit Hum environment lies with the professor. My Lit Hum professor is actually fantastic. He seems to have mastered the art of diplomacy and of dodging Group Pompous Ass comments. So if your Lit Hum class is starting to reek of pseudo-intellectualism, your professor has the ability to control where the discussion starts and where it ends, who contributes and who is denied. Professors revolutionize not just the standard of teaching, but also the method of teaching, so that the core can take on a more evolutionary role, molding around the needs and wants of an ever-changing incoming class.