The Top Seven Top Ten Lists of 2007

Dani's Top Ten TV Kisses

10. Saved by the Bell’s Zack and Kelly—Considering how much we loved these two together, isn’t it shocking to realize that their first kiss wasn’t until the prom episode where Kelly couldn’t go, and Zack set up a romantic private prom for the two of them? Sure they had their ups and downs over the years and ultimately a wedding in Vegas, but that first kiss while dancing outside the school in their sweats was just too sweet.

9. Will & Grace’s Will and Jack—In a witty show with outrageous characters, it was always rare that a character was rendered speechless. But when Will kissed Jack on The Today Show to protest network censoring of a gay prime-time kiss, Jack, the whole television audience, and I were left incredibly surprised.

8. Boy Meets World’s Corey and Topanga—These two shared quite a few kisses over the years, but their first one (in life and with each other) is just priceless. Crazy-haired Corey handcuffed to Topanga and a locker? So funny, so classic, so Boy Meets World.

7. Pushing Daisies’ Ned and Chuck—The first “real” kiss as adults between these pie-making honeys was so shocking and unexpected that it could only have been a dream—and it was. Their chemistry is dazzling considering she’ll die if he touches her, so to see them finally kiss was great, if only she had turned out not to be Olive—or imaginary.

6. Sports Night’s Casey and Dana—It’s kind of hard to top a kiss that has Aaron Sorkin banter, a young Peter Krause, a statue of limitations (trust me, not as weird as it sounds), and a time frame, and this kiss at the beginning of season two was just about perfect. Sure, they never really got together, but for this one moment, I was happy and thought that they’d stand a real chance.

5. Veronica Mars’ Logan and Veronica—Their first kiss in season one after he saved her from JTT left my heart racing. And while the kiss itself was incredible, it led to one of my favorite lines ever, with Veronica explaining to Leo (her then semi-boyfriend) that she couldn’t date him because: “I just made out with my dead best friend’s boyfriend, who, incidentally, I hate. So. Train wreck.” A close second goes to the sweeping Pizonica kiss of season three, but with no time to go anywhere, it didn’t quite make the top ten.

4. Gilmore Girls’ Luke and Lorelai—Four years of coffee and flirting led to this incredible moment, but it wasn’t quite perfect. The stupid Rory-Dean plot ruined any happy feelings we were left with at the end of the Luke-Lorelai kiss. And the reason it’s number four? It was arguably the moment that Gilmore Girls jumped the shark.

3. Friends’ Ross and Rachel—Ross standing in the rain outside Central Perk while Rachel unlocks the door? Somewhat inevitable, but nonetheless incredible. A list of TV kisses just wouldn’t be complete without this great moment from Friends.

2. Bones’ Booth and Brennan—What do you get when you put Seeley Booth, Temperance Brennan and two-and-a-half years of unresolved sexual tension under some mistletoe? Well the second-greatest TV kiss, for one thing. But if you, like me, were slightly disappointed by the rated-G-ness of the kiss, check out the behind-the-scenes version on you tube that’s SO much better. But either way, it was one satisfying kiss.

1. The West Wing’s Josh and Donna—They are without a doubt my favorite will-they-won’t-they couple of all time. So to see them finally, finally kiss was just about more than I could handle. But possibly the greatest thing to happen to the Josh/Donna romance was when it was announced a little over a week later that it was the final season. The producers didn’t have enough time to get them together and break them up or create too much dramatic tension that it sucked all life out of their banter. Instead, we got to see the beginnings of their relationship and end the series with hope that after ten years of being secretly in love, they had finally found happiness with each other.

—Dani Dornfeld,TV Editor

Ginia's Top Ten Top Ten Lists

10. Top Ten unfortunate late-night Spec liquor cabinet cocktails
9. Top Ten soul-shatteringly bad and publicity-thirsty Off-Broadway shows
8. Top Ten inconvenient subway service changes
7. Top Ten headlines that made it past copy
6. Top Ten items of hate mail I received after my venture into opinion writing
5. Top Five High Fidelity references
4. Top Ten insulting QuickSpec headlines
3. Top Ten Columbia scandals appearing in the national media
2. Top Ten Ways to Be Meta
1. Top Ten Matt Sanchez Porn Flicks
Including...
10. Furnald Foursomes
9. Studying in the Butt
8. Santorum Lovin’
7. Grand Ol’ Penises of the Grand Ol’ Party
6. Riding On The Cock (ROTC) [Not available at Columbia]
5. Mahmoud Ah-My-Dick-In-Jaw [This phenomenon does not exist in Iran]
To be continued...

—by Ginia Sweeney,Theater Editor

Elizabeth's Top Ten Most Annoying Things About Video Games

10. Pokémon Snap’s brevity: If you weren’t in elementary school when this came out, you may have passed it up because of its weird premise—photographing elusive Pokémon in their natural habitats. But Pokémon Snap is one of the most ingenious titles of its generation, except for the fact that it can be beaten in an afternoon.

9. Hotel Dusk: Room 215’s text speed: Hotel Dusk is modeled after a mystery novel, so it’s filled with text. Unfortunately, the text is so slow-moving that it makes an otherwise awesome game a chore to play. The worst part, though, is that the game’s creators clearly knew the text was too slow—after beating the game once, one of the rewards for playing it through a second time is that the text goes by at a reasonable pace.

8. Guitar Hero III’s “The Metal” by Tenacious D: I’m currently playing through Guitar Hero III on the Expert difficulty level, and I have been stuck on this song for weeks. It’s really starting to get on my nerves.

7. Xenosaga’s storyline: I stopped playing the first Xenosaga (out of three) about 20 hours in (out of about 60), lamenting the fact that those hours were lost to me forever. This series has possibly the most convoluted storyline I’ve ever experienced—so much so that it makes it difficult to enjoy the game. It would take a novel (or several) to describe the bulk of Xenosaga’s plot, so here’s a teaser: it’s modeled after the Bible. I’m completely serious.

6. Dragon Quest VIII’s elevator music: Not being a huge Dragon Quest fan myself, my exposure to its eighth installment is mostly limited to being in the room while my brother was playing it. Dragon Quest VIII’s music is so generic and Muzak-esque, that I spent much of my summer telling my brother to mute the television while he was playing.

5. Blue Dragon’s voice-acting: There’s so much wrong with Blue Dragon, but the game’s voice-acting really takes the cake. Not only are the voices of the main characters downright painful to listen to, but there is actually one character whose voice is intended to be annoying. Yes that’s right, the game was purposely designed with terrible voice-acting in mind.

4. Elite Beat Agents’ “Sk8er Boi” by Avril Lavigne: I never thought I’d live to see the day when a song as embarrassingly awful as “Sk8er Boi” weaseled its way into a video game, least of all a good one. And, because the gameplay of Elite Beat Agents actually revolves around its soundtrack, the unfortunate presence of “Sk8er Boi” has so far prevented me from picking up the game at all, despite it’s having garnered very positive reviews.

3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’s Professor McGonagall: In the Wii version of the game based on the fifth Harry Potter book and movie, all the characters look a little sickly. But Professor McGonagall is actually frightening to behold—she looks like a cross between a wax statue and a corpse.

2. Katamari Damacy’s glitchiness: It’s too bad that one of the most original, creative games ever made is plagued by game-breaking glitches. Especially when you’re on a roll—no pun intended—rolling up all sorts of objects onto your sticky ball (katamari), and you get stuck between two buildings and have to restart the game.

1. Final Fantasy X-2’s complete and utter ridiculousness: I’m not easily offended, but Final Fantasy X-2 easily offends me. Clearly designed for girls—though I don’t especially want to meet the girls this game has in mind—FFX-2 features terrible pop-singing, ripping off of Charlie’s Angels, and other assorted sickening cutesiness. It’s enough to turn any girl gamer who wasn’t one already into a raging feminist.

—by Elizabeth Simins,Video Games Editor

Alex's Top Ten Non-YouTube Web Sites That Will Eat your Reading Week

10. Threadless Tees: threadless.com
These T-shirts are sometimes treading a thin line between artistic and emo, but sometimes they’re also clever. I got a T-shirt here that depicts a giraffe and a brontosaurus hugging. Also, they’re having a sale until Dec. 16.

9. James Russell and Ann Rutherford’s Fashion Photography: russellrutherford.com/fashion
Fierce.

8. One Sentence: onesentence.org
The layout is kind of like Bored at Butler; the idea is that each contributor posts a true story from his or her life, but boiled down to the one essential sentence that makes the story worth hearing. For example: “I white-knuckled two and a half hours of driving on bad roads only to slam into a ditch a block away from my destination.” Crazy!

7. Flash Face: flashface.ctapt.de
Thank you, German Web site creator, for allowing me to consider what genetic modifications I might like to make on my child, years before he or she is conceived! On this site, you pick features one by one, then drag, drop, and scale to create a perfect (or scary) black-and-white sketch of a face. I named mine Peter.

6. Flork: flork.com
Discover new music, movies, and authors by submitting the names of three you already like. It uses an interactive map to generate suggestions based on others’ submissions.

5. Jackson Pollock Painter: jacksonpollock.org
You know how you’ll go to an art museum, stand in front of a Jackson Pollock, and hear someone (usually my mom) say, “I could have painted that.” With your cursor as the paintbrush, now you can play J. Pollock at least as well as Ed Harris did.

4. Find of the Day: foundmagazine.com
Found Magazine is exactly what it sounds like: stuff people have found. Sometimes it’s interesting.

3. Hype Machine: hypem.com
Hype Machine is my favorite music blog precisely because it isn’t one. It links to the tracks that are temporarily up on other music blogs that you can listen to for free; it also maintains rolling lists of which blogs and artists are hot right this second. You can search for that rare track or just browse the main page to find something new.

2. Vice Do’s and Don’ts: viceland.com/int/dos.php?country=us
Admittedly, these haven’t been as good lately; but you can still read all the Do’s and Don’ts of the glory days (there are over 1200!), which are all on hand here. In case you’re unfamiliar, the Do’s and Don’ts are a section of Vice magazine where some dudes make fun of half the people they select for looking ridiculous and praise the other half for looking ridiculous but hot. It’s kind of like Columbia.

1. Joe Mathlete Explains Today’s Marmaduke in 500 Words or Less: marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com

Marmaduke is the most criminally, almost Brechtianly unfunny cartoon in circulation. A few times a week, this blog provides commentary on Brad Anderson’s oeuvre. It’s much funnier than it sounds. About half the time I spent at my internship this summer was reading the archives.

­­—Alexandria Symonds, Music Editor

Nikki's Top Ten Most Absurdly Overpriced Food Items You Don't Need To Eat This Christmas

10.Dried Shark Fin—$200-$300 per pound
A supposed delicacy for the Chinese, this is just what it sounds like: a fin that’s been chopped off of a shark, and then dried out for long enough that it loses all color and shrivels up. It’s neither appetizing nor remotely humane, so try taking your $300 to FAO Schwartz and buying an oversized shark stuffed animal instead.

9. Serendipity’s Frrrozen Haute Chocolate—$25,000
It may have broken the record for most obscenely priced dessert this year, but don’t forget the massive mice and roach infestation that temporarily shuttered its home twice in November. Yes, twice.

8.Vegemite—$14.95 for 14 oz.
Not everything associated with beer brewing is cool—or tasty. Point in case: Vegemite. It’s a yeast extract made with the leftover gunk from beer brewing that’s surprisingly popular in Australia. It still manages to have a remarkable health factor, providing you with a hearty dose of vitamins in each small serving. But don’t be fooled: it’s saltier than anything you’ve ever tried before and runs the risk of causing instant nausea. True, $15 is more manageable than $25,000, but paying even $1 for this stuff would be a crime. And for the record, its New Zealand cousin, Marmite, isn’t any better.

7.Yves Saint Lauren “Love” Caviar—$598.90
Thought haute couture and unborn fish fetuses were mutually exclusive? Think again.

6.Imported Limburger Cheese—$66.99 for a two-pound assortment
The smelliest of smelly cheeses, this baby can stink up a room despite numerous layers of sealed wrapping. Grosser yet, the bacteria that cause its smell are the same ones that are partially responsible for human BO.

5.The $1,000 Bagel—$1,000, clearly
Try requesting this combo at Ferris: white truffle cream cheese, goji-berry Riesling-infused jelly, and a hefty sprinkling of gold leaves spread over a toasted plain. It’s no surprise that haute living blog Luxist calls this the “Breakfast of Champions.”

4. Pocari Sweat Powder—$10.00 for five single-serve packets
Okay, this one isn’t expensive. But who would actually pay to drink something that’s called sweat? For the Curious George, this one’s also available in bottled form at M2M. Please spare yourselves.

3. This year’s largest white truffle—$208,000
Undoubtedly the most expensive item on the list, we’re not sure if even the heavenly taste of white truffles could ever be worth the same price as a Columbia education.

2. Platinum Cake—$130,000
What happens when a pastry chef makes really good friends with a jeweler? Usually, not a whole lot. But this September, Nobue Ikara and Mikiko Ichikawa teamed up for a promotional campaign to sell more platinum jewelry, elegant cakes, or both...together. Jewelry cleaning kit not included.

1. Diamond Martini—$10,000
The end of classes is certainly cause for a drink or two (or more), but be careful what you order. The Algonquin’s Diamond Martini will run you a cool 10K, but at least you’ll get a loose diamond out of the deal. Too bad they don’t tell you how big it is or what you should do with it once you sober up.

—By Nikki Goldstein, Food Editor

Gizem's Top Ten Most Bizarre Books Sent to the Office for Review

10) Can I Have A Cell Phone For Hanukkah? The Essential Scoop On Raising Modern Jewish Kids by Sharon Duke Estroff, M.A.T.

9) Filthy Shakespeare: Shakespeare’s Most Outrageous Sexual Puns by Pauline Kiernan

8) Professors As Con Artists by Don D. Davies

7) Three volumes of the How to Say It Series: Business Writing, Job Interviews, and (most titillatingly) Persuasive Presentations
6) Monster Spotter’s Guide to North America by Scott Francis

5) Ending the War in Iraq by Tom Hayden

4) Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? The Tale of a Teen Rock Wannabe Who Almost Was by Craig A. Williams

3) I Had the Right to Remain Silent... But I Didn’t Have the Ability by Ron “Tater Salad” White

2) How to Get A’s in College from the Hundreds of Heads series (“Because Hundreds of Heads are Better Than One!®”)

1) Lap Dancers Don’t Take Checks: The Truth About Law, Lawyers and Other Trivialities by Vince Megna (2 Copies)

—by Gizem Orbey, Books Editor

Andrew's Top Ten Things Learned While Interviewing Entertainment Figures for Spec A&E

10. If you want Krist Novoselic to hang up on you, use the words “Courtney” and “Love” in any combination you wish.

9. Even on a long-distance phone call, the keyboardist from Mogwai can punch you in the face if you refer to his band’s music as “a pretentious sleep aid.”

8. Asking Joseph Gordon Levitt about his time at Columbia is appropriate—ridiculing him for half an hour for dropping out is not.

7. Challenging Viggo Mortensen to a naked knife fight will only result in naked knife wounds.

6. It turns out Maria Bello will sleep with you if you ask nicely enough.

5. John Cusack will not answer to the names “Lloyd Dobler,” “High Fidelity,” or “Old guy with completely undiscerning taste in choosing roles.”

4. If you go all the way to Norway to interview a band called Shit City, you are an idiot.

3. You can’t out-drink Craig Finn, even if you can totally drink like 8 whiskey sours from 1020 without puking.

2. Paul Verhoeven is a futuristic police robot from Detroit, which inspired him to make Robo Cop.

1. Robert Pollard is the greatest man who has ever lived.

—by Andrew Martin, A&E Editor