Starting Afresh All Over Again

Moving into Barnard was a surreal experience.

Taking the path of many Jewish Orthodox high-school graduates, I spent a year studying in an all-women’s seminary in Israel before entering college. I never really viewed college as an imminent, impending event. It was so far away, and there was so much in between the day I donned my ugly maroon graduation robe and received my high-school diploma and the early morning that I boarded the LaGuardia-bound plane, laden with bed sheets and too many pairs of shoes.

The excitement that everyone around me was feeling, of moving out of home, living on your own, growing up, was absent in me. Yes, I was thrilled to attend Barnard, eager to start classes, but I had done this all before. I had already had my tearful goodbye with my parents when I left home for the first time. I had my awkward first few days of school, asking everyone the same questions (what’s your name, where are you from, where are you living, what classes are you taking) and repeating the same answers ad nauseum. I had my disastrous first attempt at laundry. I had my first ride on a new and confusing public transportation system, as well as my first successful solo navigation back to school. I did this before. I already learned how to deal with strep throat with parents 6,000 miles away. I already tested the limits of my newfound freedom, and sobered up from the intoxicating taste of no parents, no curfew, no real rules. This feeling of déjà vu was extremely acute the first few days of orientation.

Unfortunately, I also felt very removed from the rest of my classmates. This feeling of alienation has thankfully lessened over the days, but I expect certain experiences and events to bring it out again.

My gap year in Israel was one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but it was the most rewarding, fun, and inspiring year of my life as of yet. I spent an entire year completely immersed in the study of ancient, medieval, and modern Jewish texts, analyzing the Bible, its commentaries, Talmud, centuries of discussion of Jewish law, Jewish history, and Jewish philosophy. I traveled extensively all around the country and experienced Israel (almost) like a true Israeli.

The time spent studying was not only an amazing experience unto itself, but has already proven invaluable to me as a college student. Classes often required extensive time beforehand preparing texts the teacher would discuss. After spending an entire morning decoding a page of a 1500-year-old legal debate in Aramaic, reading Plato’s Republic in preparation for my history seminar doesn’t seem like such a daunting task. The necessary critical thinking skills and literary analysis tools required in college were sharpened and honed as I employed them last year in my study of the Bible, Talmud, and other texts.

The shock of a mere two classes a day is still thrilling to me. Classes in seminary went from 8:30 in the morning until 10 p.m., with the expectation that study would continue on a voluntary basis for a solid hour or two into the night. I appreciate American efficiency so much more after encountering the miles of red tape that is Israeli life. Speaking the same language as the signs and people on the street is also a nice change. My meal plan is a pure joy—I was provided with only lunch in seminary, and the novelty of cooking my own dinner every single night after a long day of classes wore off very quickly.

There are some awkward inevitabilities that taking a gap year can bring about. My NSOP orientation leader was two months older than me. A friend who was in the same seminary as me in Israel is six weeks older than her RA. Another friend who attended a different program in Israel will be turning 20 this fall, while a girl on her floor is still 17.

That said, the gap that my gap year left between me and the rest of the students on campus is shrinking day by day. I don’t regret for a second that I didn’t take the conventional route directly to college, despite the inconveniences it might have brought. Now that I’m here, I can’t wait to form friendships with the new faces around me, share new experiences with the rest of the first-years and become a part of the Barnard community.

The author is a Barnard College first-year.