Who Would Start for the CU Quidditch Team

As is common among Columbia students, my seven suitemates and I tend to fall into discourse concerning just about everything. Last week, we had a deep conversation about a subject that I'm sure that many Columbians—and others—have discussed at length over the past decade. I'm talking about the query: "What would life be like if Harry Potter were real?"

We took a Columbia-centric approach to this question, as we discussed what life would be like if we lived at Columbia-Hogwarts. Each suite member was sorted into a house (if you don't know what I mean by house, stop reading) by the other seven based on their character traits. We also deduced whether someone would be a pureblood, half-blood, or muggle-born wizard. Since we are in college, we decided what each of us would be majoring in and what life aspirations we would have in the wizarding world.

I, for example, would be a half-blood in Hufflepuff. Given that I am a history major, the likeliest correlation is that I would study history of magic at Hogwarts, but I would have no intent of pursuing a career as a magic historian or anything like that. Similar to reality, I would be obsessed with sports, meaning that as a wizard I would love nothing more than Quidditch. However, I was forced to admit that, given my athletic abilities, I would be relegated to writing about the game—as I do now at Spectator. My main goal in life would be to write about Quidditch for a major publication, most likely the Daily Prophet.

The discussion in my suite was not just limited to the members of the suite, as we discussed what professors here at Columbia would fit in at Hogwarts, which people we know would be in which houses, and how Morningside Heights would fit into the location of Hogwarts (obviously, Riverside and/or Morningside Parks would play the role of the Forbidden Forest).

Yesterday, still thinking about this alternate universe, I started to think of what Quidditch would be like at Columbia-Hogwarts. Seeing as Quidditch is the biggest sport in the wizarding world, Columbia would have a team comprised of its best athletes. I've taken the liberty, using current Columbia athletes, to build what I think would be the starting lineup of the Columbia Quidditch team.

Obviously I had to make some assumptions in creating this lineup. First, these athletes would have to be wizards and witches who decided to play Quidditch. Seeing as they are athletes now, I'm guessing they would be interested in playing the preeminent sport of the wizarding world. My second assumption is that the skills that these athletes display in their respective sports would translate to Quidditch. For example, if athletes are quick or strong in reality, they would also be quick and strong on a broomstick.

Without further ado, here are the starting Chasers for your Columbia Quidditch team: junior women's soccer player Sophie Reiser, sophomore men's soccer player Bayo Adafin, and junior women's basketball player Danielle Browne. These athletes have all been successful with attacking roles in their respective Columbia sports.

Reiser has played attack and midfielder during her time at Columbia and has found success doing both. As she is the Ivy League's leading scorer, an assist machine, and this year's Player of the Year, it would behoove the Lions to have her on their Quidditch team. A swift and shifty scorer, Adafin would leave defenders in his dust and would complement Reiser well. He has the ability to finish and given Reiser's knack for piling up assists, these two could create quite the tandem. We can't leave out Browne, though, as she could be a catalyst for this team. She's not afraid to force the issue and drive toward the hoop—goals in our case—while still keeping her eyes peeled for open teammates. She would also be an asset on defense, as her quickness would force a lot of turnovers and lead to breakaways.

Columbia's Beaters would be a pair of male athletes who are adept at their sports and have sweet, strong swings. Sophomore outfielder for the Columbia baseball team Nick Cox would be one of the Beaters, as he has a strong, accurate swing that would be crucial on the Quidditch pitch. He was unanimously selected as the Ivy League Rookie of the Year last year, and his .355 batting average speaks to his ability to frequently put the bat on the ball. He played football in high school, so we can assume he can both take hits and dole them out.

The other Beater would be a player who Columbia-Hogwarts would have taken away from Durmstrang in the recruiting process. Senior tennis player Bogdan Borta hails from Romania, which means he would likely have gone to Durmstrang instead of Hogwarts if he lived in the Harry Potter universe. His skill is in tennis, but his skills with a racket would probably translate to a strong forehand and backhand with a club, which would be a huge asset in Quidditch.

Deciding the Keeper was a tough decision for me, but I eventually decided on sophomore basketball player Zack Crimmins. A seven-footer with long arms, Crimmins is a natural to defend the three hoops of Quidditch.

Seeker is the most difficult position, as it takes someone who is fast, agile, strong, durable, and has a keen eye. I decided that junior wide receiver Austin Knowlin fits the bill here, as he has speed and moves that can fake a defender out of his shoes. He has fought through tackles and gotten up quickly from big hits. As a receiver and a punt returner, he needs to be able to see the ball out of the corner of his eye and see a small hole he can cut through to break a long run. As a Seeker, all of these skills would be vital, as catching the Golden Snitch generally leads to victory.

So, this is the starting team that I've come up with. I'm sure there are other athletes—or maybe even non-athletes—who could have made the cut, so feel free to send in your input.

Matt Velazquez is a Columbia College junior majoring in history. Sports@columbiaspectator.com">Sports@columbiaspectator.com