Weekend Romp: Don't Put Babeland in a Corner

For my 20th birthday last week, I wanted to celebrate by doing something new and exciting.

Anything in Morningside Heights was out. So was getting drunk. Let’s face it—at 20, that is neither new nor exciting, neither is it legal yet and therefore worth celebrating. Instead, I turned to a favorite pastime: a city adventure. And not just any adventure, but one that would start with cupcakes and end with sex toys.

I headed down to the Lower East Side, my stomping ground last summer and arguably my favorite neighborhood in Manhattan. My destination? Babycakes, the vegan and partially gluten-free bakery on Broome St. between Orchard and Ludlow. There are plenty of people that scoff at the idea of wheat-free, dairy-free, nearly sugar-free baked goods—but as a health freak with intolerances to both wheat and dairy, Babycakes is my savoir. It also doesn’t hurt that their cupcakes are damn good even by regular food standards.

I am a little bit in love with agave syrup, the sweetening agent that Babycakes uses in most of their products. If the name rings a bell, that’s probably because you’ve been drinking too much José Cuervo—agave is the plant that tequila comes from. It’s also lower in calories than sugar and has a relatively low glycemic index, meaning that as a health nut, I can have my cupcake and eat it too.

Babycakes wasn’t my only destination on the Lower East Side, though. I also picked up a pound of coffee at Roasting Plant Coffee Company (81 Orchard between Grand and Broome), then started the adventure part of my trip: Babeland.

Nestled on a cozy block that includes the small-plates favorite ‘inoteca, and Teany, the overpriced vegan eatery formerly co-owned by musician Moby, Babeland is not the creepy, grungy sex shop I remember from my suburban youth. It’s colorful and modern, and before I really concentrated on the display in the window, I assumed it was some sort of children’s toy store.

In reality, it is a toy store, except it enhances the experience of making children rather than entertaining them.

For me, my adventure to Babeland was a call to maturity. Working just a few blocks away last summer, I never quite had the guts to go through the door. The one time I did, I gawked at the displays but couldn’t bring myself to do anything more than look.

At 20 years old (at approximately 4:34 p.m., making me ACTUALLY 20 years to the minute), I strolled into Babeland and maturely(ish) appreciated the quality and quantity of sexual pleasures the establishment has to offer. There is a whole wall devoted to vibrators and dildos, with every size, color, material, and intention imaginable. The opposite wall is devoted to creating the proper ambience for sensual pleasure, lined with racks of massage oils and candles. Safety and comfort are against the back wall, which is chock full of condoms and lubes for any taste. And the central display is just kinky.

I interacted with the salespeople, asked questions about products, and generally acted like a customer. At the end, after carefully considering if I needed to purchase The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton & Catherine Liszt and deciding I didn’t need someone to tell me how I already live, I made the first sex shop purchase of my young adult life and walked out into the world a new woman.

Well, at least a new age.

Shane Ferro is a Columbia College sophomore majoring in political science and sustainable development. Weekend Romp runs alternate Fridays.