I am a big faker.
I’ve been writing this column all semester about great weekends in New York. The truth is, I haven’t explored the city on the weekend since February. Instead, every weekend, I pack a bag, grab my bike, and get the hell out of Dodge (literally).
As much as I love the city, every once in a while it’s nice to remember what nature looks like beyond Central Park. As a member of the cycling team, I’ve traveled all over the Northeast, and every weekend is a new adventure. I think of myself as somewhat of an expert (emphasis on “somewhat”).
In order to plan a great weekend getaway, there are several things that one should think about:
1. Who to bring: This is probably the most important part of your trip. It needs to be the right ratio of males to females, and you need people with the right sense of humor. If you are going further than the Jerz, you will probably be spending quite a lot of time cooped up in the car or train with these people. Personally, I love travelling with the cycling team because the ratio of males to females is just right (about 4:1 works for me), and there are enough inappropriate jokes and men in various states of nudity around the vans throughout the weekend for me to unwind after a week of studiousness. It’s always a good idea to bring someone along that you could potentially hook up with. Every vacation should have a hook-up story, even if it is an embarrassing one.
2. What to bring: There are several things to consider when packing. Is it warm enough for a bikini? Are you comfortable enough with your body to wear a Speedo? Is it a place where you can rock the skinny jeans? If you are planning something nature-y, your stilettos are probably not the best idea, but if you plan to go out somewhere like Boston or Philly, they might be. Things that I always forget that I always need: a phone charger, the directions I left in the printer, snacks.
3. How you are going to get there: Car? Plane? Train? Remember things like: if you take the train, you have to get from the station to wherever you are going somehow. Renting cars is expensive (and usually requires you to be 25). If you don’t take a car, how are you going to get around for the weekend? Once again, think about heels.
4. Where you are going to go: With this question comes myriad options, but if you play your other cards right, the answer doesn’t really matter. A couple of weeks ago, for example, I found myself in a run-down motel bar in Camden, N.J. with a few men who looked like they hadn’t seen a woman under 30 in about 10 years. Not exactly the place that you describe in a letter to mom. However, there was a pool table, plenty of beer, and 20 friends taking embarrassing pictures to capture the moment. Now, it’s not creepy, it’s just the best story of the season.
5. What you are going to do when you get there: There are two ways to approach this question. Either you plan your trip ahead of time, or you just go and see where the wind takes you. While both are viable options, in order to choose the latter it is important that someone in your group is able to rise above group-think and make a decision. It’s always a bummer to travel for hours and spend a couple hundred dollars to find yourself stuck in a hotel room with four people who can’t decide between Olive Garden and Friendly’s for dinner. When in doubt, ask a local—and never expect bagels or pizza to live up to New York standards.
6. Where to stay: Two words: good breakfast. That’s really all that’s important in a hotel. When all else fails, find somewhere close to a Dunkin’ Donuts.
And when in doubt, stay in, open a beer, and watch Eurotrip. Your weekend is about who you are with, not what you are doing.
Check The Spectacle for additional installments of Weekend Romp throughout the summer.
Shane Ferro is a Columbia College sophomore majoring in political science and sustainable development. Weekend Romp runs alternate Fridays.
