A step outside of Butler

Pacing the seizure-inducing halls of Butler Library after completing a day’s worth of Core reading left me feeling more like a potential burnout than a collegiate success. While classes were stimulating and my so-called personal achievements were in some way rewarding, I felt lost as to how I would find a balance between the grind of making academic ends meet, finding some level of self-fulfillment, and enjoying even a fraction of the opportunities I was surrounded by in New York City. Of course, I assumed that all of this (and the fact that I still couldn’t afford a metro ride) would eventually pan out.   

As a double major in anthropology and Hispanic studies, I realized that my future was not exactly laid out before me. So, to retain some level of confidence in what I was evidently setting out to achieve, I tried to recall my memories of civic engagement overseas and the anthro lectures examining such topics as the obscure sexual practices of archaic tribes that had apparently set me upon my current path.  These attempts at convincing myself that my unique “interdisciplinary” academic interests and my inability to eat at places that didn’t accept dining dollars would both turn out for the best were, in the end, falling short of keeping me motivated. 

Even after taking recommendations to try out new endeavors such as an internship (naturally unpaid), organized community service opportunities, and a plethora of peace and earth-hugging events, I was still feeling lost. Although the experiences were definitely stimulating, and balancing my schedule was exciting to say the least, I still longed for something more expansive, something that offered a forum in which I could fuse my amalgamation of interests and insatiable desire to create.  

About a week later, I began to doubt this longing when I was informed of an opportunity to apply for summer research funding. Buried amidst overdue work and overwhelmed by exhaustion, I felt hesitant about the opportunity. Applying for the grant meant extra early mornings in Butler trying to formulate a project, even earlier mornings in Butler trying to organize the prerequisites and applications, and a nerve-wracking presentation in front of people who had money to spare. Yet, despite the stress and uncertainty, I put in the extra time, created a project that fused my experience and interests, and was soon informed that I was going to be funded to conduct academic research abroad.

Despite the temporary burden of not being able to complete my bucket list on Courseworks, my research was approved, and within a couple of months, I was on a plane to the rural mountains of Costa Rica to embark upon what was once a distant dream. Within a week’s time and with the help of an experienced team, I was able to construct and fully furnish a town’s first children’s library, donned with a mural that reads “Con libros puede viajar a cualquier lugar” (“With books you can travel to any place in the world”), and also to conduct community-based research on the education system.  This research will hopefully be approved by the same board of beneficiaries in the coming year to conduct an education and self-empowerment program for the children and their parents next summer.
Despite what my interests are or what I specifically accomplished this summer, I write this summer testimony of sorts in an attempt to prove that there is value in seeking personal satisfaction beyond the confines of campus and when appropriate, in taking a risk from the stability of the daily routine. While it is a gift to be a student at Columbia, there is always a space and a need in the world for active minds to look beyond what is before them and to create an experience for themselves (and hopefully for others) that transforms the world in a way that is both fulfilling and worthwhile. And while it may seem counterintuitive for those determined minds at Columbia who see success at the end of the long haul, it is important to realize that sometimes the opportunity to create simply outweighs the circus halls of Butler Library.

The author is a Columbia College sophomore. She is a member of the editorial board. “A step outside of Butler” is an installment of Summer Dispatches, an opinion feature series that seeks to showcase the diverse summer experiences of members of the Columbia community.