Dear Mama

Beads of sweat roll down her forehead as she washes dishes at the kitchen sink during the twilight hours of the morning. Her hands, soaked in soap suds, are callused and wrinkled. When she finishes she kisses her four children goodbye and hurries off to her job, a two-hour commute away along the Jersey shore, where she will sell kitchen appliances over the telephone. Things have changed since then, but this is how I will always remember my mom.

After my father left the household, my mom was forced to make many sacrifices to provide for our family. She dropped out of college and surrendered her own career aspirations to work several dead-end jobs to support my three sisters and me. As a result, she had little leisure time, and I would rarely see her during the week because she would return from work so late at night. She was often too drowsy to stay up with us and watch television, or too exhausted to attend my soccer games. Gradually, I began to notice my mom’s workplace obligations overwhelm her. She no longer laughed as much as she did before, and stress had worn down her once-youthful face, replacing it with a stern expression and a creased brow.

Despite the toll my mother’s financial difficulties took on her, I was often surprised to see her maintain such optimism amidst adversity. Of course, since she worked so often, my sisters and I were given household responsibilities at an early age; yet my mother still found time to treat us to weekend drives along the Jersey Shore, or dinners at diners in Newark. She never once complained about the bouts of depression she suffered or the advanced diabetes that ailed her. During the holiday season, my mother made every effort to keep comfortable, as if all were fine and we were a normal family.

My mother’s perseverance through hardship has helped me cope with the pressures of being a student at Columbia. When I’m going nuts from problem sets, essays, and midterm exams, I remember challenges my mother faced and the burden on my shoulders is made lighter.

Most importantly, my mother’s reliance has set the standards for excellence that I strive to uphold at Columbia. I learned from her that excellence is not simply accepting new challenges to face, but also responding to those challenges with an optimistic attitude. There are countless numbers of parents—especially in New Jersey—who face circumstances similar to my mother’s, but who quickly lose faith and succumb to alcoholism, neglect, or worse—hopelessness. However, the unique confidence my mother exuded kept my family buoyed during tough times. At Columbia, balancing classes, a part-time job, and extracurricular activities can be difficult for any student. Notwithstanding these stressful obligations, I try to maintain a confident attitude with my professors, my boss, and all my friends and peers. Enthusiasm, you see, is contagious—it creates a more positive environment for everyone.

A confident demeanor in class, for example, can oblige my typically morose Art Hum professor to teach material more passionately. A creative outlook at my work-study job can stir my boss to think more innovatively. Even an optimistic attitude at home—such as my mother’s—can inspire four “out-of-luck” children to look to the future more hopefully. This is the power of enthusiasm that I witnessed my mother harness, and it is this same power I hope you include in your life as well.

So this fall break, take a moment from midterm exams to reflect on the values your family, friends, or significant others have bestowed upon you. If they’re responsible for you keeping your chin up, biting your upper lip, standing tall—basically, just keeping hope alive—be sure to thank them with a smile or a hug before it’s too late.

As for my mom, her birthday is coming up this Nov. 1. This article is meant for her, so that she understands how much she means to me. Happy birthday, Mom.

The author is a Columbia College junior majoring in Political Science and Latin American Studies.