Top 5s: from the strange to the seductive

The Second Annual Top 5 Most Ridiculous/Awesome Free Things Sent to A&E in the Last Year (Or: What We Learned While Checking the Mail at the Spec Office)

5. “Twitter Wit,” edited by Nick Douglas: We now have a collection of “hundreds of the most memorable and hilarious tweets to date.” Sure, there’s an entire Web site dedicated to that, but who doesn’t like books?

4. “Elvis 75: Good Rockin’ Tonight”: This four-disc CD set of 75 songs celebrating the 75th anniversary of Elvis’ birth taught us that the King will live for a long (long, long, long) time at the Spectator office.

3. “The Compass”: Traveler “Jonathan” took us on his journey across deserts and mountains, which represent the “kaleidoscope of our individual lives.” With the help of this two-disc, special-edition DVD, we are now 10 steps closer to “finding our purpose and direction in life.” Take that, job hunt.

2. “How to Treat a Woman: The Art and Science of Sex Whispering—A Manual for Young Men,” by Thomas Paine: Replete with 16 color illustrations, Paine’s manual is so exhaustive it needed three titles. Thanks to his tome, we are now familiar with the “8 Pillars of Sex Whispering.” (In case you were wondering, the first one is “Time and Place.”)

1. “Pizza & Ice Cream” by Fred Stein: According to his Web site, musician Fred Stein’s mission is to “improve the lives of everyone” and “spur economic activity.” While A&E got his sophomore album in the mail for free, who wouldn’t pay $1 on iTunes for a song called “Roaming in Wyoming (Cheyenne the Cat)?” Stein taught us that Handel’s “Hallelujah” chorus doesn’t hold a candle to a “Meow” chorus.

—Christine Jordan and Julia Halperin, arts & entertainment editors

Top 5 Gimmick Restaurants: From the Hokey to the Hokey-but-Still-Delicious

5. Mars 2112: With waiters dressed as aliens and astronauts, this tourist black hole might thrill the child in us—but the food is far from out of this world.

4. Two Boots Pizza: The slices may be bland, but what’s lost in flavor is quickly won back in the novelty of ordering pizzas named after classic movie and TV characters. Patrons that get takeout and rent “The Big Lebowski” can have their “Dude” and eat it too.

3. Peanut Butter & Co: The chunky-versus-creamy debate just got a little more complicated with Peanut Butter & Co’s mission to inject PB and/or J into every conceivable recipe. But once students try the creations, the idea won’t seem so nutty.

2. Alice’s Tea Cup: This would-be eight-year-old birthday party haunt is made all-ages-acceptable by the acid trip-inspired theme. With pumpkin scones this flaky, tea parties are not only mad, but mad good.

1. Insomnia Cookies: The opportunity to eat freshly baked cookies at 3 a.m. would be enough to keep students with the midnight munchies coming back, but Insomnia doesn’t sit idly in its gimmicky glory. Instead, it’s dedicated to serving up warm, buttery, fresh-from-the-oven treats all night long. The best part? It’s too late to care about chocolate-covered lips.

—Devin Briski, food & drink editor

Top 5 TV Events that You Didn’t See But Should Know About for Holiday Cocktail Parties

5. “American Masters: Joan Baez”: Right in the wheelhouse of the boomer generation that so dutifully donates to PBS, a program on Joan Baez is a sure topic of conversation at any cocktail party full of 50-somethings.

4. Obama’s speech at West Point: In this prime-time newscast, Obama announced that he would be sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan.

3. “Bill Moyers Journal”: An iconic liberal figure and former adviser to Lyndon Johnson, the name Bill Moyers still doesn’t mean much to the average college student. For holiday cocktail parties, here’s a quick primer: Moyers devoted one episode of his series “Bill Moyers Journal” to a re-examination of the way that president Johnson wrestled an insurgency in a faraway country that he inherited from his predecessor. Sound familiar?

2. “Mad Men”: First, points for “Mad Men” being the least erudite on the list. Remember, it’s the silences that say it all.

1. Ken Burns’ “The National Parks: America’s Best Idea”: This six-episode series gave the history of America’s national parks system. Beautiful and ponderous, the series makes all parents dream of taking their college-age kids on one last family road trip. Pretending to have seen it might help avoid said trip.

—Joe Daly, TV editor

Top 5 Ways to Play the Columbia Part

Earlier this month, city life and gossip Web site Guest of a Guest revealed “the truth about Columbia.” Though I can’t dispute the fact that we “smarties let loose at Bar 1020,” I’m a little offended that our style is defined as “Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, and lots and lots of sweats.” Here are five ways to look sharper and pulled together, like a true Columbian:

5. Avoid looking like a bum: Skip the sweats, leggings, and slipper shoes. If you want to stay casual, stick with fitted jeans and a button-down or a cozy sweater, paired with a blazer to sharpen the look. Add accessories like a scarf and colorful jewelry to mix it up.

4. Rethink your bathroom routine: To look good despite pulling an all-nighter, make use of some simple tricks. Baby powder your scalp if you don’t have time to take a shower (don’t forget to use deodorant, though), clear up sleepy red eyes with eye drops, and invest in concealer for dark circles.

3. Check the weather: It would be a shame to get caught in winter’s slushy rain and ruin your pulled together look simply because you don’t have an umbrella. Make sure you’re appropriately geared for the day’s forecast.

2. Read up: Or at least pretend to. Grab a newspaper between classes and read it—people will automatically assume you’re a genius. Bonus points for bringing up an article while answering a question in lecture.

1. Feed your mind: There’s no doubt about it, running on empty won’t get you far. Go for foods with protein to power through a long day. Consume some kind of caffeine to keep you awake—nobody looks cute sleeping in class.

—Helen Werbe, style editor

Top 5 Performer Meltdowns

5. Cate Blanchett: Blanchett, currently starring in the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s production of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” ran off stage in a huff. The actress sustained a head injury and could not continue with that evening’s show.

4. Karen Olivo: She practically melted in tears as she accepted her first Tony Award, Best Featured Actress in a Musical, for her portrayal of the sassy Anita in the 2009 revival of “West Side Story.” She sobbed, “I’m completely unprepared for this.”

3. Hugh Jackman: Jackman finally gave in to the distracting ringing of a cell phone during an intense moment between him and fellow actor Daniel Craig in Broadway’s “A Steady Rain.” Pausing during his monologue, Jackman dropped his hands in frustrated concession: “Do you wanna get that?” He begged the phone’s owner to answer, refusing to continue until the ringing stopped.

2. Ian Hart: Just last month, actor Hart (most famously known as Professor Quirrell from the first Harry Potter film) allegedly jumped off the stage during the curtain call of his show “Speaking in Tongues” in London. Hart lunged at an audience member who had been talking throughout the performance.

1. Patti LuPone: The woman who started the madness. The Tony Award winner stopped mid-song to berate an audience member for taking pictures of her. LuPone was in the midst of a full-throttle breakdown as her character Mama Rose in Arthur Laurents’ revival of “Gypsy.” LuPone blasted over and over, “Who do you think you are?!” Well, no one will ever forget who she is.

—Ruthie Fierberg, theater editor

Top 5 E-mail Sign-offs

“Best” literally just isn’t good enough—in fact, it can be downright insulting in certain contexts. These alternatives are surefire ways to brighten up inboxes—and faces—all across the world.

5. Love: It truly does make the universe go round, and there can never be too much of it.

4. With all best wishes: This is the (if you’ll pardon the repetition) best way to improve upon the drier-than-sandpaper “best,” but should still be used sparingly—i.e., only in professional correspondences.

3. Godspeed: It just sounds good. And it’s one of those words that is overtly religious but can be employed in secular contexts. And it’s both the name of a German heavy metal album and of Bartholomew Gosnold’s ship. What more can you ask?

2. Any adverb that reflects your state of being: “delightedly,” “affectionately,” “sleepily,” “sinfully,” “lackadaisically,” etc. If you want to be super snazzy, make one up from an adjective that isn’t typically employed as such—my personal favorite is “incandescently.”

1. Cheers: One can never go wrong by emulating the Brits. Or try “cheerio” for a slightly chirpier touch.

—Yin Yin Lu, books editor

Top 5 Movies to Get Her "In The Mood"

She laughed at your jokes, you grabbed the check, but now she wants to watch a movie. Here are five flicks to make sure you’re satisfied at the end of the night.
5. “Basic Instinct”: Sharon Stone shows more than some skin in this sexy murder mystery.

4. “Bonnie and Clyde”: Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway take it to the next level when breaking the bank is what has these lovers heading to bed.

3. “Eyes Wide Shut”: In this choice for art-house lovers, Tom Cruise goes through an odyssey of sexual erotica after finding out wife Nicole Kidman may have cheated on him. More artful than sexy, it still features plenty of very beautiful men and women in strange situations for all to appreciate.

2. “To Have and Have Not”: Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart have never shown off so much heat as in this faux “Casablanca” sequel. Bacall’s famous line: “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.”

1. “Out of Sight”: George Clooney is a bank robber and Jennifer Lopez is the officer out to get him. “Out of Sight” features one of the most sensual scenes ever committed to screen, as director Steven Soderbergh edits between a tender bar encounter and their later sexual encounter.

—Peter Labuza, film editor

Top 5 Winter Break Galleries

Spending a month away from the city’s museums and galleries is never fun. Luckily, the week before break gives art-lovers ample time to explore the city.

5. Bauhaus 1919-1933, Workshops for Modernity at MoMA: Hundreds of paintings, drawings, and furniture pieces fill the MoMA’s first major exhibition on the Bauhaus since 1938. If design is your thing, then this exhibit will certainly peak your interest.

4. Kandinsky at the Guggenheim: As students go off to break, so will this monumental exhibition. On view through Jan. 13, the Russian artist’s colorful, abstracted works are part of a 50th anniversary exhibition at the museum. Over 100 pieces fill the space and are organized chronologically to give visitors a sense of Kandinsky’s growth and innovation as an artist.

3. Urs Fischer: Marguerite de Ponty at the New Museum: Fisher has taken over three floors of the museum and filled them with a range of installations, walk-in tableux, and gigantic still-lifes. From pop-culture references to rotting vegetables, a trip downtown will be absurdly worth it.

2. Mike Kelley: Horizontal Tracking Shots at Gagosian Gallery: Kelley’s first all-painting show in New York, “Horizontal Tracking Shots” features artworks influenced by comic strips and science fiction. If Kelley doesn’t hit the spot, then the other Gagosian exhibits—Cy Twombly, Roger Ballen, and Modern Masters—definitely will.

1. The New Acropolis Museum at the Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Art Gallery: No need to trek far during finals week. Wallach Art Gallery’s current exhibit will bring Greece to campus with this exhibit curated by professor Ioannis Mylonopoulos.

—Hannah Yudkin, art editor