Life can be a picnic for undergraduates of all tastes

Even the tired will be inspired by nearly effortless outdoor culinary escapades

There’s the common perception that picnics require too much work for the slacker population at Columbia—people generally conjure images of neatly Saran-wrapped sandwiches and chicken salad, red and white checkered blankets, and bug protectors. But in fact, picnics don’t require any of these—as long as one’s willing to suffer dirt and ants. A picnic can be the perfect afternoon plan for the lazy student—it justifies languishing in the sun for hours on end as an actual social outing.

First off, don’t think that any student needs to own a textbook-definition picnic blanket. A couple of bleach-stained towels will serve nicely. If not, just use sheets—it will finally provide motivation to wash them—unless you are highly tolerant of dirt.

As far as food goes, prepared is probably the slacker’s best bet. Milano Market has an extensive offering of pasta and potato salads. The market is the easiest option for sandwiches too, or if you’re too lazy to make it by hand, purchase one of Milano’s fresh and high-quality baguettes and some sliced or spreadable cheese—cheddar’s too much work. Top off the meal with a six pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

Lastly, forgo the basket—no one really cares—and just throw some utensils in a plastic bag. As for location, Morningside and Riverside require the least amount of walking. Central Park around 110th Street is shaded and scenic, though, if the extra few blocks aren’t a bother.

The best part? When someone asks how the weekend was, the slacker can say, “I had a picnic” instead of “I just sort of sat around.” That’s not lazy—that’s outdoorsy.

­—Devin Briski

Penny pinchers enjoy the options of seasonal eats

Although picnics typically conjure images of idle afternoons spent lounging in lush grass alongside the banks of some slowly twisting river, the pleasure of a picnic can be bought on the cheap. After all, enjoying a meal outside costs nothing—food, drinks, and accoutrements galore virtually come extra. For a budget picnic, try the minimalist route, eschewing fanciful sophistication for practicality.

The fastest and cheapest picnic food to consume—sandwiches—does not need to taste like a second choice. Forget artisanal bread and buy a serviceable loaf at an ordinary supermarket. Lunch meats actually come at a surprisingly low cost in small quantities, so feel free to stock up on two of the less expensive options from the deli counter. Try a combination of ham and turkey, which provides a pleasant mix of honeyed sweetness and raw salt. Use up old mayonnaise packets appropriated from fast food joints or cafeterias, smearing that soft, vitamin-enriched bread with heart-stopping goodness before slapping down alternating slices of rose spiral ham and pale turkey breast. For necessary crunch and moisture, add a firm tomato slice. Make a frugal Rice Krispie Treat by melting marshmallows in generic puffed rice cereal, to create a utilitarian dessert that recalls packed lunches and recesses spent under shady elms.

To save pennies, pack tap water chilled in the refrigerator or brew a strong iced tea. Then head out to a grassy patch on the lawn or the Low Library steps, taking a momentary break from a hectic student day. With the potential to happen anywhere at any cost, picnics provide an opportunity to make a cheap and average meal extraordinary.

—Jason Bell

Keep it classy with a French-inspired meal

Every once in a while, it’s healthy to splurge on good food. In preparation for the perfect French picnic, head to Westside Market and pick up a fine-quality whole wheat boule. Give the boule a soft squeeze and listen for the cracking sound—good bread is crunchy on the outside. Head over to the cheese aisle, pick out some goat cheese, and visit the baking aisle for honey. To add some protein to the ideal springtime dish of honey, goat cheese, and whole wheat boule bread, buy some salmon lox. And, of course, no classic French picnic would be complete without fresh fruit. Grapes and berries complement the wheat bread well, and the whole meal matches the student budget—the food totals approximately $25.

For refreshments, Dean and Deluca offers the best drinks for a sunny day in the park. Dean and Deluca’s Elderberry Presse, Citron Presse, or Golden Star White Jasmine Teas taste exotic, transporting the drinker to the French countryside. These drinks only cost $5-$10 each for a large bottle that easily serves four.

Finally, head into Central Park, blanket in hand and wine glasses tucked away. A spot right in front of the boathouse allows students to people-watch and relax away from the stress of campus.

—Matt Powell