Casual Friday: Over-extended

’Tis the season of scrambling and stress and deadlines for final papers, but it is also the season for giving. We hope to find our professors in that spirit when we ask them for extensions. But, as with holiday wish lists, how we ask matters as much as what we ask for. There are a number of acceptable approaches, including but not limited to:

The Fearless Leader: You will try to rally fellow classmates behind the common cause of getting the paper deadline pushed back. When this works, you’re a hero, the teacher is impressed by the enthusiasm of the cohesive class, and the deadline is pushed back. However, the reality is that this rarely works, and you’re left without an extension and/or your dignity.

The Liar: We don’t think this really warrants too much explanation. There’s a family crisis. You’re sick. There are personal issues that can only be discussed in nebulous terms. You may get your extension, but everyone will know exactly what you’re up to. Including your conscience. And Santa.

The Philosopher: You’re trying to make the professor understand why granting an extension is the only moral/ethical/logical thing to do. Professorial responses range from pride (“Look how smart my student is!”) to apathy (“Just take the extension and shut up.”) to bemusement (“...seriously?”) to disgust (“Get out, you confused clown!”).

The Baby: That’s it. Throw yourself at the mercy of the court. Don’t dry your tears. Look as pathetic as possible while you beg. Yes, that disgusting hoodie will work well as a costume.

Clearly, things are not as simple as just sitting on Santa’s lap (because, if we extend the metaphor, we have policies for that sort of thing). But that does not mean that, if requests are reasonable and phrased nicely, you can’t get that priceless present of extra time. Use your wish list wisely this holiday season. And may you find whatever extension it is you’re looking for—obtained in whatever manner your worn-out, semi-delusional mind thought best—under the metaphorical tree.