Best of: Alternative Valentine’s Days

Sometimes, Valentine’s Day is simply nauseating, like a guy in a crowded subway wearing too much cologne that somehow still doesn’t mask his B.O. In truth, Valentine’s Day isn’t about putting on the schmaltz, but about quality time with awesome people. The following are things to do on Valentines’ Day that might actually be fun.

Best Opportunity to Talk Nerdy

The best remedy for a broken heart is watching a robot beat Jeopardy champion after Jeopardy champion. The second best remedy is candy, and Columbia’s Association for Computing Machinery offers both at its special viewing of Jeopardy, featuring IBM’s Watson in Lerner’s Broadway Room on Feb. 14 at 7 p.m. Plus, nerds are hot, and this event is bound to be full of them. Jilted lovers would be wise to attend, fall into the arms of lovers far nerdier and therefore far superior to the ones they had before, and talk nerdy into the night about the scientific frontier of robots learning to emote.

Best Second Chance

With poems and a pop-up art installation inspired by Craigslist’s Missed Connections, the New York Transit Museum (at Boerum Place and Schermerhorn Street) Valentine’s Day event is just adorable. In light of the elephantine number of times that a subway transfer has dashed hopes for budding romance, the Missed Connections stories are bound to redefine romantic comedy. Refreshments provided by Brooklyn Brewery and 5th Avenue Chocolatiere will save hopeless romantics the trouble of all the subway transfers normally required to bring those delicious delicacies together. RSVP requested but not required for the Feb. 14 event, which will run from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Best Broventure

Sometimes, the best way to deal with being a single lady or lad on Valentine’s Day is to bro out—with Brewskee-Ball at Full Circle Bar (318 Grand St., between Havemeyer Street and Marcy Avenue). The bro approach to Valentine’s Day involves throwing on oversized sunglasses, kicking back a couple of beers, and digging life way too much to regret being single. At Full Circle Bar, a bro can do all this while playing Skee-Ball. Yes, Skee-Ball, that arcade game that involves rolling a ball down a ramp and trying to hit targets, which is probably both really difficult and really fun when drunk. Happy hour begins at 4 p.m. on Feb. 14 and goes until 9 p.m.

Best Romantic Dinner for Cheeseburgers in Love

Apparently Valentine’s Day at White Castle is a thing because reservations are necessary. The fast-food chain’s Valentine’s Day special promises a candlelit dinner of 10 sliders, two sodas, and French fries. This may be the perfect dinner for a couple who wants to have a Valentine’s Day dinner but doesn’t feel like going through all the usual froufrou. To avoid being dumped on Feb. 15, cheeseburgers in love should suss out just how not-froufrou their partners want to be on Valentine’s Day before actually going on this date. Beyond that, the White Castle couple should prepare a set of iron stomachs. Indigestion is not sexy.