Casual Friday: Love in the time of Columbia

You’re a fickle lover.

Oh, Columbia, you have so much potential for love. Your glittering tree-lined College Walk is reminiscent of the Champs Élysées at night, and your nooks in Butler ooze cozy romanticism.

As you bathe College Walk in a faint yellow light, you make our treks home from Campo feel slightly more magical than they are.

Columbia, we thank you for making us feel romantic and infatuated. But your love is fickle, and we’re none the wiser.

When back in our dorm rooms under harsh fluorescent bulbs, we remember that in truth, we spent the day in the library and our evening with a bunch of bros.

Perhaps we spent our day optimistically reading Shakespeare and Sappho, expecting to be overwhelmed with passion. We rationalize that our studies could even help our romantic lives by providing us with some lovely pillow talk, if only we had the chance to try it out—but really, we just want a perfect score.

Home base, or the yearned-for 4.0, are the ends for all Columbia students. We may pine for a relationship or an intellectually rewarding academic experience on some level, but our short-term goals of sex and A’s take precedent.

Though only eight percent get there, home base is the epitome of success. We hear about these lucky individuals and watch them from afar, but to us, they are a million miles away.

We are not scorned—we are neglected. Columbia, you leave our arms empty and our beds cold. But perhaps you are not to blame.

We seek ends of themselves. A successful day entails getting an A on a term paper and a companion at the end of the night. We do not enjoy the journey; we await the completion of our goals.

But at the end of the day (and what day better than Valentine’s), we realize that our goals are shallow and our hearts lonely. Scoring no longer gives us a thrill—we seek something more.

But as soon as we are ready for you and your romanticism, Columbia, you are not ready for us. We are left cold and without a 4.0.

Alas! We’re caught in a bad romance.