Barnard boy

Not to toot my own horn, but last semester I was given the pleasure of performing in the Varsity Show. Mid-second act, Chris Silverberg stopped the show proclaiming his love of being a boy at Barnard in his song “Barnard Boy.” His character, Jesse, mistakenly applied to Barnard, unaware of its solely female student body, and was somehow admitted. Silverberg provided a sultry and melodious end to Jesse’s struggle to accept his existence as said Barnard Boy.

Beyond the obvious addition of classes to my schedule, the bane of my existence these past couple of days has been my 15 minute commute every morning walking from 110th and Manhattan Ave (an avenue most Columbia students don’t even seem to know exists). This commute is due to the fact that I’m living in the Barnard equivalent of Harmony, Cathedral Gardens. So, while my writing may not be as sultry or melodious in nature as Silverberg’s voice, let this article be my declaration of my Barnard Boy-dom.

In light of the recent installment of gender neutral housing, my living arrangement seem somewhat poignant, though maybe it’s less so considering a guy and a girl living in the same suite has been kosher under Barnard school policy for a while now. That being said, I’ve found this to be a little known fact among students, which might say something with regards to student interactions bridging Barnard and Columbia. Clearly there are some close friendships made—and I don’t mean that as a euphemism—or mixed gendered housing probably wouldn’t exist. But at the same time, its existence is known and taken advantage of by so few and far between that it makes me wonder how many of these close friendships exist. If they really are sparse, that’s sad for students on both campuses.

I suppose I developed my tendency towards the west side of Broadway second semester of last year. As a lowly freshman, I was struggling to decide on a major, and at the time religion and theater were both on my list. Both departments happen to exist as joint departments between Columbia College and Barnard College on the Barnard campus. So, for the whole semester, I spent all of my Tuesdays and Thursdays taking a couple of amazing classes as I wandered between Milbank and the Diana fulfilling my course load. I didn’t realize the ridiculousness of this until I found myself crossing the street back to Columbia to meet my Barnard friend for lunch as she had just finished class in Havemeyer Hall. I also realized that with all likelihood I was taking more Barnard classes than some Barnard girls themselves, as confirmed by my Barnard suitemates. That of course brings me to the real kicker—I have Barnard suitemates because I’m living in Barnard housing.

To succinctly explain how I ended up in this housing situation, my friend Andrew and I made two friends at Barnard through theater who ended up needing to pull two people into their suite. We got offered two spots, and I’m quite grateful that we did. I’m almost certain we’re the only two male students to live in this building and maybe even the first two male students to ever live in this building—CG is relatively new.

Admittedly, there were a couple of mishaps at the beginning. The security guards were a little skeptical when I used my keys to enter the building for early move-in. However, they became quite affable after discovering I had the interim-housing sticker of approval on my I.D. Now, Andrew and I have made friends with all of the guards, probably partially because we can be easily recognized—we’re the only two with facial hair. Later on official move-in day I was welcomed “back to Barnard” and given a new Barnard lanyard by building staff and our RAs. But, now that that’s all sorted out, my only reservation about living here is that I’ll be labeled the man-hoe who’s desperate enough to walk the three quarters of a mile from campus for a pleasurable evening. To play off of the often heard and somewhat offensive joke, “Why does the Columbia student cross the street?”­—I cross the street to go home, rather than to get laid.

In all honesty, I do love living here at Barnard. First and foremost it means I’m not living on the McBain shaft my sophomore year. I have a suite with a kitchen and a generously sized bathroom and common room. I’m with three awesome suitemates, though we might get somewhat cult-ish at times—we now have our own blog. The suite itself is probably much nicer than anything I’d be able to afford in NYC. The three quarters of a mile walk gave me an excuse to buy and ride a bike, which I wanted to do all last year anyway. While I’ve only lived here two weeks and don’t completely know what’s in store, all puns and bad jokes aside, there is little bad I can say about this living situation. Maybe it’s time that Columbia students took advantage of Barnard’s resources as much as people say Barnard students do of Columbia’s. Either way I can certainly say it really does appear that “not every bear is female” because “[I’m] just a Barnard Boy.”

The author is a Columbia College sophomore. He was a cast member in the 117th Varsity Show.