In memory of Tina

After hearing the tragic news on Sunday night, Columbia students have come together to grieve the loss of Tian Bu, known as Tina. Students have poured out their sadness at her death and their appreciation of her life in conversation, through social and campus media, during the community forum on Monday—everywhere they can. She was a kind friend, a passionate violinist, a volunteer in the community. The reaction on campus demonstrates what a talented, amazing woman Tina was, and how dearly she will be missed. We wish we had known her, and we hope that those who loved her will be able to find comfort and hope in the midst of their grief.

Grief affects each of us in unique ways. Some who did not know Tina personally may be unsure of the appropriate response, and we should know that there is no one right way to react. Those who did know her are finding their own ways to cope, to grieve, and to know when to spend time alone and when to surround themselves with others.

We on the editorial board are used to identifying problems and proposing solutions to those problems. But today, we are stymied by the simple fact that this time, there is no solution. Someone who was dear to many of us is gone, and nothing we can do will change that.

All we can do is carry on, reminded that our relationships with the people closest to us are the most important part of our lives. We can find the time to recommit ourselves to our friends and family. This could mean spending more time with those people. It could mean talking with each other more openly and honestly about problems we might normally keep bottled up, as well as asking our friends about how they are feeling. Discussing these issues was something Tina wanted to see happen on our campus, and Monday’s community forum was one step of what we hope will be many in making sure we have the outlet we need. These are small things we can do, but there is no quick fix.

We often hesitate to ask for help when we are dealing with deep problems. Maybe we are afraid of being judged or looked down on, or maybe those of us who are struggling with depression don’t want to be a burden to our friends. If we can open our schedules and our lives to show our friends that we want them to come to us, we can develop stronger relationships and be there for our friends who are going through a difficult time. We don't have the resources to solve every problem any of us may have, which is why we should also begin to tear down the stigma associated with seeking counseling or mental health services. We won't always know the right thing to do. But we will do what we can.