The word "slut"

I transferred here from a college where there was no sorority presence. Recently, I overheard a couple of girls talking about their sororities, and I asked what kind of girls were in each sorority. I wasn’t looking for gossip material. I expected answers like “Chi Chamma Omega girls are usually Midwestern,” and “Kappa Beta Omega girls are artsy.” Instead the girl answered “Oh, Gamma Bamma Wamma are the campus whores,” and “Chi Chamma Omega girls are less slutty,” and “Flamma Chi—those girls are prudes. My sorority doesn’t have sluts. We’re normal.” Every time this girl repeated the word “slut” and “whore,” I gritted my teeth a little more.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t an isolated instance on campus. I’ve heard many girls refer to others as sluts in a denigrating manner. I’ve seen boys look at a girl’s outfit and declare her a slut. Worse, in conversation, I’ve spoken to guys who have called the girl they hooked up with at a party a slut. Something has to change when this insult can be thrown around so loosely and yet have such deleterious effects on a woman’s self-perception and a man’s understanding of a woman.

Women have been taught to believe that their intrinsic value is closely related to their sexuality, or even simply to others’ perception of their sexual behavior. This allows degrading terminology to come into common use. The belief is reinforced by the acceptability of words like “slut” and “whore.” Calling a girl a “slut” should be tantamount to calling a gay man a “fag,” a black person a “nigger,” a Jew a “kike,” and a disabled person a “freak.” These respective groups of people are aware of the negative connotations of each of these words. I’ve yet to hear a gay man call another gay man a “fag” as an insult or a disabled woman call another a “freak.” This makes it even more baffling that women call each other “sluts” as an insult. Just as if there was a gay person in my life I did not like, I would not disparage his or her sexual orientation, but focus on his or her character.

There are so many factors that come into play in the decision to have sex—for example with whom and with what frequency—that a broad sweeping judgement is uncalled for and almost certainly uninformed. We don’t have the right to use a derogatory word to describe someone, especially when we know little of the impetus behind his or her actions.

A woman’s sexual interest and pursuit should be for her to judge and decide upon. It should not be considered an indicator of her value to society or the quality of her character. I’m recommending that we strike this abominable word from our vocabularies. Stop granting any credence to this ridiculous pressure, and embrace who you are and what you want (with an awareness of the consequences). Don’t worry about people’s perceptions of you. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Judge women based on their character, not their sexual behavior.

We are evolved creatures with free will, and we should be able to respect the decisions others make for themselves. A girl deserves no less respect as a person because of her sexual choices. So I ask you, both men and women, to remove these terrible words from your vocabulary for the sake of equality. Judge a woman for who she is, not who she has slept with. It may be difficult to expunge these words from day-to-day vocabulary. It will require a conscious effort, but they’ve been acceptable for too long—so please make the effort. Here’s hoping I get a different answer next time I ask what a sorority is like.

The author is a Barnard junior majoring in economics.