On Feb. 7, the Satow Room in Lerner was looking a bit raunchier than usual. The Columbia Culinary Society used the space to host its annual Erotic Cake Competition, where teams of one to three bakers createed tasty, beautiful cakes with a sexually charged design. This year, five teams submitted cakes to be judged by the Columbia student body, with one berry-inspired cake standing out from the rest.
The first team submitted a cake dubbed “The Banana Split,” topped with an artfully arranged banana. The bakers prepared banana bread, on which they slathered both pink and white chocolate buttercream icing. Before serving, they informed everyone that the icing had been made with Kool-Aid. Unfortunately, this cake suffered the fate of many a bakery’s banana bread: It was too dry.
The refreshing and light Kool-Aid icing, which tasted exactly like its namesake drink, saved the cake from being completely bland.
Another cake was entered by a one-person team. This baker had made her creation’s surface look like the cover of a romance novel. It consisted of chocolate cake layered with raspberry preserves.
The icing, which was creamy and evenly applied, was the best part. The raspberry layer added a fruity moistness to a rather dry chocolate cake.
A team that creatively called themselves “Yeast Confection” baked a cake they named “Come Pop My Cherry.” Appropriately, they had spread the white cake with poppy seeds and cherry preserves and topped the whole thing off with a very thick layer of marzipan icing. The icing, while good, was so thickly applied and so intensely sugary that a few bites sufficed.
Next up was team “Berrylicious” with the “Cream Yourself” cake, which would end up taking home the top prize. The two Berrylicious team members baked a flourless chocolate cake, complemented by a berry fondant icing. It was impossible to just have one bite: The hot, moist, creamy chocolate cake tasted like a brownie straight out of the oven. The berry fondant was rich, fruity, and fluffy but still refreshing, making it the perfect accompaniment to chocolate.
Team “Eat Me” got many laughs when they presented their cake. Cheekily dubbed “The Blow Job Cake,” it consisted of red velvet cake filled with sweet cream and crowned with raspberry “lips” and what one team member called a “phallus éclair.” Red velvet cake is either a rich and delicious treat or a bland brick of sugar. This cake was the former. In particular, the sweet cream icing was dangerously addictive. Though well-done, it could not top Berrylicious’s “Cream Yourself.”
After the hungry hordes of students had their fill and the scores were tallied, Berrylicious was made the Erotic Cake champion. The team members won a Whoopy Pie cookbook and six bars of gourmet chocolate.
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