Fall break is almost here, and along with it comes Halloween. But you’ve been busy with midterms—we understand.
Don’t have a costume yet? Don’t worry.
For your benefit, we have assembled a list of the six best costume homages to the past year at Columbia.
1. The Emlyn Hughes
Required: dark sweatshirt, sunglasses, banana, predisposition for stripping.
Optional: rap music, gaggle of terrified yet attentive first-years.
Get down, stay down—seriously, stay down. Keep laying on the floor and rocking back and forth until everyone is sufficiently weirded out. Okay, now you can get dressed again.
Bonus: Strip down outside.
2. Ghosts of administrators past
Optional: glitter, backbone.
Quick, count how many administrators have left in the past year. Can’t do it? Neither can we. Pay tribute to their often short and unremarkable time at Columbia! Popular ghost moans include: “McKinseyyy,” “communityyyy,” and “student wellllnesss.”
3. NINJa printer
Required: ninja suit.
Ever had a printer malfunction? Is the pope Catholic? Pull on your all-black get-up, paste a half-loaded printing bar to your chest, and get out there and mingle!
Warning: The editorial board is not responsible for any injuries you sustain due to your appearance as a NINJa printer.
4. Business student & sleeping undergrad
Required: suit, backpack, padfolio for business student; sweats, non-CBS backpack for undergrad.
Looking for a couples costume? What better way to express your love than by embodying the taboo: the relationship between B-Schoolers and undergrads! Dress up as a business student—put on that spiffy suit! Lookin’ good! Now, throw a tacky colorful backpack over your shoulder. Who’s ready to network? You are! Not like that annoying sleeping undergrad with that awful taste in clothes. In the wise words of Warren Buffet, Business ’51, “You can’t network in sweatpants.”
Bonus: Actually get kicked out of Uris/wind up on the tumblr.
5. Butler camper
Required: hiking backpack, strange rations, every single CC book, chargers of all types.
Optional: sleeping bag.
A reclusive creature, the Butler camper can fill an entire table with a plethora of books, food, and clothes. Legend has it that they can hold a spot for upwards of 30 hours, and even survive for a week without leaving 209.
Bonus: Brush your teeth in the fourth floor bathroom.
And finally, your sexy costume:
Required: Saran Wrap.
The buzzword of the year. It has been spoken of with reverence, verve, and paraded out in every venue. From administrators to University Senate candidates, everyone claims to want it. But no one wants it more than us. So get yourself some Saran Wrap and have a ball—and make sure to cover those private bits with some of our editorials advocating transparency.
Send pictures of your costume to firstname.lastname@example.org!
To respond to this staff editorial, or to submit an op-ed, contact email@example.com.