Gaying Straight Marriage

Ira Stup — Sun, 04 May 2008 20:10:47 -0500

Getting Beyond Gay Marriage

Ira Stup — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:17:15 -0500

Straight Man's Liberation

Ira Stup — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:59:06 -0500

Bringing the Red Light District Home

Ira Stup — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:18:42 -0500

Queering the (Jewish) Faith

Ira Stup — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 20:28:17 -0600

Pack Your Fudge Next ‘V-Day’

Ira Stup — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:21:09 -0600

JTS Policy Change: A Cautionary Tale

Ira Stup — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 23:00:00 -0500

Editor's Note:/ The following article appeared in the April 3 edition of the Spectator. Due to the large number of students in the Jewish Theological Seminary who were not on campus due to Passover, it is being rerun at the request of the writer./ I desperately want to be a proud JTS student. In high school, I dreamed of studying at the joint program between Columbia and the Jewish Theological Seminary. But right now, as a sophomore in the program, I just can't be proud. As an openly gay Jew, I'm supposed to be thrilled that JTS finally ended its policy of excluding openly gay and lesbian students from the rabbinical and cantorial schools. After years of debate and pain, the ban has been lifted. You would think I would be exhilarated at the news and could finally declare my pride at being a JTS student. But I can't yet. I want to make something clear. This move is historic. The Conservative Jewish Movement, of which JTS is the flagship school, has been debating the status of gay and lesbian Jews for years now. I commend the faculty, administration, and the new chancellor, Arnold Eisen, for making a huge step in the right direction. To say the least, the decision is gratifying. So why is it so hard for me to take pride in JTS? Because this decision did not come without a cost. And the cost was huge. And no one seems to want to talk about it. In the process of debating the status of gay and lesbian Jews, the Conservative Movement managed to frame a conversation of "us" (Conservative Jews) versus "them" (gay people), erasing the gay and lesbian people who live, learn, pray, and love just like every other member of the Jewish community. Over the past few years, we have watched countless closeted rabbinical students quietly drop out of school, tired of concealing their identity any longer. Too many gay Jews still suffer from the emotional trauma of loss after their once nurturing Conservative Jewish communities discount them and their families. Gay Jews have been refused synagogue memberships and denied religious honors in the name of Conservative Jewish law. I was a big shot in the Conservative Movement growing up. I was a veritable poster child, going to Conservative camps, youth groups, synagogues, and schools. The movement helped to form the foundation of my Jewish and secular identities. I was encouraged to pursue my Jewish education and consider becoming a Conservative rabbi. That is, until I got to JTS last year and came out. Since then, I have endured a less than respectful debate about my religious legitimacy-in my classes, my dorm, my synagogue, and throughout my school. As if that was not damaging enough, I attended a debate last year at JTS in which a prominent Conservative rabbi spoke at length about a gay man's inability to be monogamous or a decent parent. Today, as the only openly gay person in my dorm and class, I have necessarily been typecast and tokenized as "the gay guy," losing a sense of identity to my peers other than my sexual orientation. So for me and many others, this big decision, while gratifying, is only a small step forward in healing the pain that we have experienced. As we praise this new development, I would suggest cautious optimism. This is not and cannot be the end of the process for full and unequivocal inclusion for queer Jews. In terms of dealing with actual issues impacting gay students at JTS, this decision is not even the tip of the iceberg. Openly gay JTS students and those questioning their sexuality face the additional burden of confronting deep issues of faith and religion. From my own experience coming out at JTS, I can report that there are unfortunately few gay-specific resources on JTS' campus. Gay students have few concertedly affirmative places to turn. The resources are there, however. JTS has professional offices of Student Life, Residence Life, and Counseling. There is a mandatory first-year undergraduate course about college life and health. However, few of these offices or programs reach out specifically to gay students and identify themselves as actively affirmative allies. In a school still debating whether some gay people should be in the building at all, outreach and identification as an ally is absolutely necessary in order for students to feel comfortable in their school and home. Additionally, JTS admirably tries to offer its students the resource of positive Jewish role models. This institutional goal manifests in rabbinic couples living in residence halls and relevant student life programming. However, gay students, perhaps in the most desperate need of religious role models, are hard pressed to find any queer people at JTS at all. Certainly a straight person can serve as a role model to a gay student, but gay Jews need to see a place for themselves in the Jewish community in the future. In a school of over 700, where there are no openly gay faculty or administrators and fewer than a dozen openly gay students, that is a tough thing for a gay student to see. I want to be a proud JTS student-I desperately do. JTS has begun to take the steps that will allow me to feel like a welcomed member of my own community once again. I recognize that, in many ways, we are living through a historic time. We have the unique ability to shape how this process moves forward, if at all. It is up to each of us to continue the struggle for the full inclusion of all Jews at JTS. Regardless of your religion or affiliation, identify yourself as an ally. Speak to your friends, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, about your desire for change. Join JTS students in demanding a comfortable and safe environment for gay students. Encourage JTS to recruit qualified gay students and hire gay faculty. Write to Chancellor-elect Eisen about your thoughts. Contact your religious leaders to voice your concerns. Help me and so many others begin to take pride in our school once again.