As an alternative to your standard slutty kitten or “God’s Gift to Women” costume, we suggest some not-so-average ideas to help you trick-or-treat in style.
Think Susan B. Anthony & Simone de Beauvoir…if they were in Mean Girls. These two feminists are already rolling in their graves at the sight of knee-highs and push-ups, so why not bring the empowerment-through-sexuality to a head? Simone loved black turtlenecks—but how about going backless, American Apparel style?
Justin Bieber, c. 2037
Oh, Baby. Justin’s gained fame and fortune, yes, but also a pot-belly, stubble, a comb-over, and an awkward reoccurring appearance on VH1’s “I Love The 2010s.” How the mighty have fallen.
Harry Potter: Frat Boy Edition
What if Hogwarts was a very, very different place, and Harry dueled some mean behind-the-back shots? We know the boy’s good with his wand hand.
Mary-Kate and Ashley if they were Conjoined Twins
I mean, seriously—what if? There’s definitely enough room under MK’s hobo-chic muumuus from the early 2000s to fit a twin, if not triplets.