Mark Holden

I originally had intended this column to be a list of specific reforms that, if implemented, would benefit students at Columbia. Before I could write it, however, I was preempted by the announcement that Lerner 6 will be used to host a consolidated student advising center. I do have one large reform to suggest, however, one aimed at solving multiple problems simultaneously.

If we were drafting a mission statement for Columbia, what would we want it to say? What factors would we want it to take into account? A mission statement should talk about the things we value, but what are they?

Three components—the inferiority complex, the revolutionary complex, and the bureaucratic complex—play a dominant role in explaining the culture of Columbia as we know it today. Think of all the phenomena that can be explained as a product of one of these or of the interaction of two or more of these, or in the case of numerous protests, all three.

Surplus cash on hand creates breathing room for Columbia to enact programs that benefit the quality of life of its students.

It’s easy to harp on problems, but it’s much harder to creatively generate solutions from whole cloth. We need a vision. In this task, Columbia’s administration, and especially President Bollinger and Dean Quigley, must take the reins.

The lack of undergraduate focus on campus is lamentable and not just for purposes of building student happiness. Happy undergraduates go on to be happy alums, and happy alums donate to and speak proudly of their alma mater.

We feel a continual sense of disquiet when it comes to our alma mater. Why?

Horowitz spoke at Columbia on October 26, 2007. Here are photos of the protests, a panel discussion, and the speech itself.

Libertarians. Yeah, you know, those crazy people. Depending on who you talk to, they're either maniacal liars, maniacal fools, or both.

We need teleportation, and we need it now. You think I'm crazy-you think watching the Sci-Fi channel too much in the wee hours of the morn has addled my brain. But it hasn't, and I'm not.

Since the dawn of civilization, people have been inventing ways to make life easier, to improve their productivity, and to increase living standards.

We're going back to the moon! We really are! And after that, to Mars! Real men, real explorers, real astronauts!

What, haven't you heard?

No?

Well, that's no surprise, I guess. Not many people have. I can't understand why, but the idea of space exploration doesn't seem to titillate and tingle the way it used to.

It's a truism that Columbia lacks community. We're a bunch of lonely little existentialists, howling at the world from the depths of our solipsism and wondering why we can't make friends. Some say it's the New York attitude infiltrating by osmosis; others, merely that we're too smart and self-reflective for our own good.

Hello Columbia. How was your summer? Mine was excellent, thank you. I returned home to New Orleans, where I interned at an environmental risk assessment company. Most of my work, as you might guess, centered around Hurricane Katrina and the destruction it wrought.