Upper Eastern Promises Attract Uptown Girls, Boys

Everyone at Columbia has played at least one of the roles in the following exchange:
Friend 1: “What did you do this weekend?”
Friend 2: “Went downtown.”
Friend 1: “Cool.”

It’s time to mix up this typical conversation, and replace “downtown” with “east.” New York’s Upper East Side (UES) is little more to most Columbia students than a big space on the other side of Central Park where they occasionally have to go for an Art Hum field trip. While the museums are arguably the best part of the UES, the neighborhood has a lot more to offer—even on a Saturday night. Here are some ideas—and directions—for a fun night from Lexington to 5th, and a chance to experience the essence of the traditional home of New York City’s upper crust.

If you’re the type that can’t justify going out until you’ve done that art history homework that was due last week, start your evening at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (1000 5th Ave. at 82nd St.). After spending time in the galleries, celebrate the fact that you’ve finally decided on a topic for your paper, exercise, or project with a drink at the Balcony Bar. From 4:30 to 8:30 p.m., drinks are served at a small collection of tables on the balcony above the Great Hall. While you drink, enjoy free classical music and look at the hustle and bustle of the crowds below.

After you’ve had your fill at the Balcony Bar, take the M1, 2, 3, or 4 bus down 5th Ave. to another great New York City institution—the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis Hotel (2 E. 55th St. between 5th and Madison avenues). In this wood-paneled and warmly-lit lounge, blue blazers are the uniform (there are no shorts or sneakers allowed after 5 p.m.), and you’ll feel compelled to order a martini or a stiff whisky-based drink. The atmosphere is further enhanced by the source of the lounge’s name—the beautiful Max Parrish mural of Old King Cole painted on the wall behind the bar.

While the Balcony Bar and the King Cole give one a sense of an older, more traditional UES, no survey of this neighborhood would be complete without one of its most prominent scenes—the hangout of the future cast of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New York City. Take a short walk to Geisha (33 E. 61st St. between Park and Madison avenues), where the food is delicious (the head chef is the former protégé of Eric Ripert of Le Bernardin), the décor is cool, and the clientele is the younger set of UES residents. Skinny women in jeans, stilettos, and fancy tops who probably work in public relations dine with aspiring investment bankers in blazers, jeans, loafers, and designer belts. It is definitely a sight to be seen.

After finishing at Geisha, walk one block east to Lexington Ave. and two blocks south to the 59th St. subway station, and take the 6 train uptown to 77th street. Walk to 81st St., make a right, and go to the Comic Strip Live (1568 2nd Ave. between 81st and 82nd streets). This classic comedy club has been a starting place for future comedic stars (Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, for example) since the 1970s. Be prepared to laugh at a future cast member of Saturday Night Live and enjoy the two drink minimum.

As the night comes to an end and you find yourself hungry again, walk to 3rd Ave. and 74th St. and file into JG Melon (1291 3rd Ave.), along with every other buzzed, wandering, overgrown frat boy who needs a burger at 2 a.m. Melon’s is an UES tradition, and the burgers and fries are classic. Once you’ve had your fill, either compete for a cab with the legion of polo-shirt-wearing clients, or take the M4 bus straight to Broadway and 116th St. Whichever mode of transportation you choose, you’re guaranteed to have something better to say about your Saturday night than, “Went downtown.”