Allies Discuss Joys, Struggles of Supporting LGBT Community

“Being a straight ally is very much about me,” Saffiyah Madraswala, BC ’09 and Respecting Ourselves and Others Through Education facilitator, explained Tuesday night to a small group in John Jay Lounge, “but at the same time, it’s not about me at all.”

Lounging in a comfortable circle, nine students explored the role and significance of straight allies to the LGBT community on the third evening of a weeklong “A is for Allies” dialogue series hosted by ROOTEd. With workshops ranging from “Male Allies” to “Class Privilege,” the series aims, in the words of “Straight Allies” moderator and ROOTEd facilitator Dominique Jean-Louis, CC ’09, to “formulate discussion about what it means to be an ally in and around different groups on campus.”

For starters, participants agreed, a “friend” and an “ally” can be very different things.
“Having gay friends is trendy,” CQA President and ROOTEd facilitator Peter Gallotta, CC ’09, said. “People will say, ‘I love gay guys!’ That’s great. Love is so great. But what does that mean? You can have a whole posse of gay friends, but are you a true ally? Do you really understand the needs and issues of gay people?”

Ignoring such issues, many complained, is both dangerous and common.

“It’s happening more and more now—gay people are safe as long as they don’t cross any lines that make people uncomfortable,” Ira Stup, GS/JTS ’09, said.

As a positive example of dialogue and engagement, Gallotta cited the participation of the Muslim Student Association and other campus religious groups in a 2007 Queer Awareness Month event that featured Faisal Alam, the founder of the Muslim LGBT support and resource group Al-Fatiha.

“Although they disagreed with a lot of the things Faisal was speaking about, there was a great representation of different communities showing solidarity,” Gallotta said of some who attended. “I think everyone in that room was being challenged.”

“Allyhood” comes with personal challenges of its own, ROOTEd facilitator Vivian Lu, CC ’10, said.

“I always think of allies as having to... I don’t want to say ‘take a risk,’ because that’s the everyday lives of the groups they’re allies of, but standing up does put them into some form of vulnerability that they don’t normally have to experience.”

Madraswala associated such discomfort with progress. “I know I’m headed toward that place where I’m a real ally when I’m feeling overwhelmed,” she said.

“That, to me, is the mark of a good ally,” Gallotta said. “That you recognize it’s complicated and complex and that there are a lot of things happening in a lot of different places all the time. You can’t be like, ‘Once we solve gay marriage, everything will be fine.’”

mary.kohlmann@columbiaspectator.com