TV Guilty Pleasures: Rock of Love with Bret Michaels

At first, the idea of watching Poison front man Bret Michaels frolic with prepubescent girls while they bare all—at least physically—was nothing more than a way to distract myself from a bad case of mono. But then I saw her. Well trained physique, diamond cross earrings, the ever-present suede cowboy hat. Her twangy accent lassoed me in like a bull. Rodeo, aka Cindy, won my vote and weekly presence on the couch.

I had never watched anyone so genuine. While Lacey and Dallas reenacted the age-old battle of PETA versus Marilyn Manson, Rodeo spilled about her seven-year-old son and busted a gut with the interviewers. After the first episode, in which she and Bret compared notes on their kids and talked about past struggles, I couldn’t help but fall in love with this crazy woman. She has a sword collection, people. There could be no one else.

But like all good things, Rodeo couldn’t last. Her absent son began to weigh on her and after one too many breakdowns, she was sent home. Her exit was the only one that made Bret cry, and with her departure went all my hopes for an age-appropriate, well-matched ending. There was a plus to her exit, though—with Rodeo gone, it was almost too easy to shelve Rock of Love forever, especially when Bret’s tears were cheapened by a second season. Now Rodeo is making a fitness video and promoting her own brand of organic barbeque sauce. What can I say except ride on, Rodeo. Ride on.