Make Me a Match

While some students worry about getting their B.A. or M.A. or Ph.D., the sisters of Sigma Delta Tau are working on more important things.

Last night, the sorority invited Janis Spindel, matchmaker to the rich and richer, to provide them with the secrets to finding handsome and successful men in New York-and, more importantly, how to marry them.

Janis Spindel, author of 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year and founder of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, has a database of 10,000 women who are carefully screened and selected. Most candidates undergo a lengthy process of pricey interviews costing $500-1000 each. A lucky few are picked out of nowhere for their beauty and poise. From these women, Spindel whittles away to a promising pool of the very eligible "power elite" of the tri-state area.

"I do the editing for them," Spindel said. "My fees start at a 100K- that's a serious check to write-so I'll never fit a square peg into a round hole. Ivy-league, brunette, Jewish, whatever you want, I'll get her."

The glamorous Spindel makes no bones about her success. "Failure? That word is not in my vocabulary. I'm almost cocky, but that's what got me to where I am," she said. With a 21-year-old daughter, Spindel can't be all that young. Yet, she had the fresh face, impeccable fashion, and energy of the college students that surrounded her.

"I get people married," Spindel said. She's not kidding. The matchermaker-"Matchmaking is the second-oldest profession in the world," she said mischievously-claimed responsibility for 760 marriages. If a couple is not serious by three months, she calls them up to ask what's holding up the wedding. "What I do is get men married. They're my clients. They're well-educated. They're well-groomed, they're professional, attractive, thin, single people looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage."

Jennifer Smokler, BC '08 and the event's organizer, said, "I was just so sick of girls saying that Columbia guys suck, that they're ridiculous. There are men outside of Columbia. I think at this event there will be tips on how to find those guys." Smokler knew Spindel through her daughter-the two were roommates at Syracuse University before Smokler transferred to Barnard.

As Spindel sat answering the sorority sisters' questions, her rapt listeners sat on the floor, gripping note-cards with questions and copies of her book.

Spindel didn't hold back. In response to a question about dating outside of one's religion, she replied by way of example, "Jewish men will date shiksas. They won't marry them. You don't want to set yourself up for something you're not going to finish." The same went for interracial dating. "You're in New York. Find someone from your own tribe."

Spindel was a fountain of information. According to her, the most important things to remember are to be confident, don't live with a man before you're married ("Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"), and wait a few dates before sex. Although you can meet a guy at a bar while in college, don't even dream of it after college. And don't-don't!-settle down with a man before the age of 26. "Its like saying I love pizza," she said. "Why eat Chinese food? Why eat seafood? I'm just going to eat pizza for the rest of my life."

That advice was aimed at Jessica Aldridge, CC '08, who had been repeatedly patted and shot sympathetic looks by her sisters as Spindel regaled against early marriage. Aldridge hopes to soon marry her long-term boyfriend, and Spindler's advice wasn't particularly welcome. "I don't want to have been dating my boyfriend for 10 years when I get married if I'm happy and I feel that it's right. ... I don't see how that will inhibit my life. She really just made me feel like less of a person and less of a woman," Aldridge said after the event.

When asked if she gets any negative feedback, Spindel said, "all day long. I have never been invited to one wedding. The only wedding I've been to was my sister's, and she couldn't help it." Yet, she doesn't think being a matchmaker is any less practical than the profession of her husband, a personal trainer. "The connotation of matchmaking is extremely weird. Its like, 'What's wrong with you that you had to pay a matchmaker?' Nowadays, people ask people to do things for them. No one says to my husband's clients, 'What's wrong with you? You can't move your arm on your own?'"