Old Popstars Find Some New Dolls

When you hear the words "six million albums sold," "five smash hit singles," and "international phenomenon," who immediately springs to mind? Justin Timberlake? Gwen Stefani? How about the Pussycat Dolls?

According to Mark McGrath, smug former lead singer of Sugar Ray (the mastermind behind '90s hits like "Fly" and "Every Morning"), the burlesque dance-troupe-turned-pop-singing-group has become successful enough to be considered "one of the biggest girl groups of all time." One thing's for certain-the Dolls are at least big enough to have their own reality show on the CW, called Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. McGrath, acting as the poor man's Ryan Seacrest, is the Search's host.

The show dutifully fulfills every aspect of reality competition convention. Each episode, the contestants practice and perform a group song-and-dance routine in front of a panel of three judges, which includes Robin Antin, the creator and choreographer of the Dolls, music executive Ron Fair, and Lil' Kim, in her first venture into the spotlight since being incarcerated for perjury in 2005. One would-be Pussycat Doll is sent home in every installment. As McGrath explains in the opening moments of the show, the judges are looking for the girl who "most embodies what it truly means to be a Pussycat Doll"-which, judging from the images that appear directly following this statement, seems to translate into looking like a hooker.

The show's nubile, pneumatic competitors don't see it this way, though. Doll-in-training Brittany (we're on a first-name-only basis with the girls) actually believes that the group is at the forefront of women's rights-as she puts it, "The Pussycat Dolls are all about female empowerment, and I'm all about female empowerment, being that I've never had to rely on a man for anything." Antin agrees with Brittany's assessment-in a recent press conference, the designer of the Dolls said, "There's a reason why people like Scarlett Johansson, Gwen Stefani, Cameron Diaz [all of whom have danced with the Dolls in L.A. hotspot The Viper Room] have all been so interested in what Pussycat Dolls is all about. They feel that it is empowering to get up there and dress up like a Doll. It's fun, and it's something that every girl in the world-she may think one thing, but I think inside every girl in the world wants to do it."

Considering that the group's "smash hit singles" include lyrics like, "Every boy's the same/Since up in the seventh grade/They been trying to get with me" and "I like when the physical/Don't leave me asking for more/I'm a sexy mama (mama)," it's a bit worrisome that the Search treats the Pussycat Dolls like the obvious successors to Susan B. Anthony and Betty Friedan. Questionable comparisons aside, though, the CW has cooked up what seems a likely hit. The production team is certainly experienced enough-Executive Producer Ken Mok holds the same position over at the CW's flagship show, America's Next Top Model.

Mok's trademark stamp is easy to detect in the moments where the auditioning girls stop gyrating long enough to expose their tragic back stories: one girl's entire family died in a plane crash when she was a child, another was forced to live out of her mother's car. At least they're all trying out for the group for the right reasons-one Pussycat hopeful declares that she wants to be famous because she wants "all those people [who put me down] to feel so awful when I make it."

In fact, a whole lot of people feel awful on the Search, at least in the pilot episode. Just as auditions begin to get intense, the girls are struck by a "mysterious illness" that causes them to regurgitate their vitamin water-all on camera, of course. It's nice to see the Pussycat Dolls going back to their reality-show roots. After all, lead singer Nicole Scherzinger got her start on Popstars, the precursor to American Idol that aired on the WB in 2001. She was one of five lucky girls selected to be in all-girl group Eden's Crush. One can only hope that the winner of the Search doesn't find herself in the same position Eden's Crush was in way back at the beginning of the decade, when their label folded and the group disbanded before even releasing a second album. Judging by the enormous popularity of the Dolls (at least, as told by McGrath), though, it appears that nothing can stop the "hottest girl group in the world" now-not even a vomit-inducing virus.