Simon Rich Is Just Shy of Gr8ness, But You'll Still LOL

Ever wonder what Abraham said to Isaac as they rode back to Beersheba after the incident on the mountain? Simon Rich has. The conversation, as he imagines it, goes like this: "How about some ice cream, Isaac? No? Are you sure? I'll tell you what, I'll get us some ice cream. Want some ice cream? I'll get us some ice cream."

You may not have heard of Simon Rich yet-the author is currently a senior at Harvard and the former president of the Harvard Lampoon, the university's humor publication. He is also the son of the famed New York Times columnist Frank Rich. In his new book Ant Farm, the young humorist contemplates everything from his writerly lineage to the internal workings of the Swiss army in a collection of hilarious vignettes that explore common themes, from childhood to maturity.

Rich writes with the same cynicism of his father, who, drawing on his experience as the Times' former theater critic, often writes about current events as if they are performances, carefully directed from behind the scenes. Appropriately perhaps, the younger Rich's sketches often take the form of scripts-one titled "How College Kids Imagine the U.S. Government," which was printed in the New Yorker's "Shouts and Murmurs" column last month, is an imagined conversation between the President and an advisor:

"-Did you hear the news, Mr. President? The students at the University of Pittsfield are walking out of their classes, in protest of the war."

(spits out coffee) Wha-What did you say?

Apparently, students are standing up in the middle of lectures and walking right out of the building.

But students love lectures. If they're willing to give those up, they must really be serious about this peace thing!"

It's funny because it's true. Here is, markedly, the same brand of observations that surface in Frank Rich's columns every Sunday. Simon Rich has, however, chosen a different genre than his father, and his manipulation of the form is quite effective.

In a nod to Nick Hornby's 1995 novel High Fidelity, a vignette titled "My Mom's All-Time Top Five Greatest Boyfriends, by Milo Farber, age 11" is included. As the young boy recounts hockey player after hockey player for the Fort Wayne Warriors coming over to his apartment-and his amazement on encountering each one in his kitchenette ("I couldn't believe there was a real hockey player in my house!")-the situation becomes uncomfortably and hysterically clear to the reader and everyone in the scenario besides the narrator.

Rich frequently plays on this kind of childhood innocence. In "Second Grade Realization," two youngsters realize that maybe "The Silent Game," which their teacher "lets" them play on the bus, isn't actually a game! One comments, "This has got to be the craziest day of my life."

Nearly everything in the book is funny, but one piece in particular is decidedly not. Titled simply, ":(," it is the story of a young woman who contracted Hepatitis C. It is told from her perspective and written completely in online-ese. It includes such lines as, "My innards R swarming w/2morous growths & the pain is excruci8ing." The idea is slightly clever, but it fails in its execution.

The inclusion of this piece makes one wonder about the book and its author. Rich is clearly talented enough to have been published without the influence of his father, but perhaps he might not have otherwise until he had matured more. However, Random House has slapped a $12.95-price tag on the 139-page paperback, giving it the opportunity to provide an amusing hour or two, but probably no more than that.