first-year

It is fair to say that a good number of Columbians have taken advantage of these opportunities, but not all students are “theater geeks.” Then why does every second of every day feel like an audition?

A month into school, and just as everyone has settled in, midterms descend upon the general first-year population: gen-chemists have already suffered through one, and calculus students either have theirs over with or are preparing to suffer them this week.

Individual personalities dominated last night’s debate for the Columbia College first-year council, making up for the otherwise nearly-identical platform topics.

Here’s the thing: I don’t do names, and I don’t do faces. Having attended a school with only 119 girls in the graduating class—one of the largest ever—I found life relatively bearable, eventually learning all of my classmates’ names and even those of some girls outside of my year.

Oh, the pangs of Literature Humanities burn within my very core and spread like a cancerous disease, reaching my very extremities!

“I’ve got something really annoying to say,” I said. “It reminded me of the Iliad.” We were lined up at the urinals in the men’s bathroom, just after we walked out of the movie theater. Without waiting to hear my rationale, the guys met my confession with groans and much eye rolling, which can only be described as good judgment on their part.