The Children of Marx and Coca Cola

I must be the only Armenian to agree with President Bush: I don’t think the U.S. should acknowledge and denounce the Armenian genocide.

With the occurrence of recent distasteful incidents on campus, it has come to my attention that many Americans have not been properly potty-trained.

Before moving to the U.S., I can only recall one instance during which I felt profoundly uncomfortable expressing my opinions to the people around me. It was in the seventh grade: for fear of being ostracized by my new friends, I could not bring myself to tell them that I had actually hated Titanic.