Antonio Serros

If you've used Tinder, then you've undoubtedly run into this problem: people in real life never look quite as good as they do online.

You're tired of the toenail clippings you find in your bed.

Were you emotionally moved by the Life of Pablo so much so that you've taken to collecting bad bitches up at Equinox and giving furs away to friends? In order to properly capture the quintessence of this new album, you're gonna need an entirely new wardrobe and here's how to get one:

As Columbia students, we like to think of ourselves as #1. That's why we only take the 1 train!

You draw penises on copies of Confessions with them. You spend $5.50 on a roundtrip ride to Midtown to buy them. You might even sleep. The Muji Pen is your best friend - and may I say - one of the best invention of the twenty-first century. Steve Jobs' fragile ego aside, Muji pens are so much more than great pens. They're tangible, visual representations of you!

Like me, you may have rejoiced at escaping devilish grasp of FroSci, only to soon discover that UWriting is an equally menacing monster. I've been in UWriting for all of three weeks now and I've already everything wrong. So I'm here am to impart some wisdom from all of my mistakes.

For those of you who don't know, Grindr is basically Tinder's trashy, sleazy, coquette of a cousin. He doesn't get invited to holiday parties or family outings for fear that he mind end up fondling your dad under the table. If you're new to dating apps, check out my Guide to Tinder before traveling into the seedy, dick soul-sucking realm that is ~*Grindr*~.

Oh, Valentine's Day. A beautiful holiday to go nuts with your special someone or to gorge yourself with discounted chocolate.

So you saw Antonio's guide to ArtHum seminars, but what about your actual excursions to museums? How will you survive those? (Hint: this.)