Austin Dean

Consider these relatable make-believe interactions.

About three weeks ago, I was selected by random lottery to have lunch with Our Benevolent Administrator and Dean of Columbia College James Valentini. Truth be told, it was a good time. Something Deantini said has been on my mind ever since, though.

“Yeet,” the greatest word of our time, emerged in the middle of 2014 when this Vine (or this one, depending who you ask) went viral. I learned this about three weeks ago, but that’s probably because I live under a rock.

Picture this: You’re at lunch with some friends who are talking about music. Someone mentions how much “thank u, next” slaps. “I don’t listen to Ariana Grande,” you say. “She’s super problematic.” Everybody thinks for a second. You all quietly agree with this point, so you move on to the next topic. No big deal, right?

I overheard this phone call between friends the other day.

Imagine it’s 7:30 p.m. at Ferris Booth Commons, busier than 1020 on the second night of NSOP. Michael and Jenny are waiting in the main buffet line catching up on their weekends. They’re both wearing backpacks and standing face-to-face.

Laura Salgado is a senior in Columbia College studying political science. Despite her younger self’s fondest hopes, she will be $elling out to Corporate America after graduation. She loves all things related to emo culture, corgis, and Thai food. She’s the former Deputy Editorial Page Editor for Columns but this semester, she’s looking forward to expressing all the opinions she had to hold back for the past few years. Stay tuned for hot takes on Columbia fashion, identity politics, and mental health in minority groups. Send hate mail or your favorite memes to her via Twitter @im_deplaurable or email laura.a.salgado@columbia.edu. A Pinch of Salt runs alternate Mondays.