Liana Gergely

One of the most obnoxious voices in my head is the one saying that things need to be perfect. Perfectionism comes in various shapes and sizes—sometimes it requires that our homework be completed with 110 percent accuracy, or that every little task on our to-do list be checked off by bedtime. For some of us, perfectionism means being hard on ourselves when we make mistakes. And others find ourselves uncomfortably sad when our lives don't look like the perfect picture we envisioned in our minds. Regardless, whatever shape, size, or point of view it takes, perfectionism can be a monster. And most of all, it keeps us from the beauty of the reality of our lives. more One of the most helpful slogans I've ever heard is PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. For someone who would redo math homework if it was too messy, and clean and organize my room to combat a bad day, this idea was completely foreign to me. What was the point of making progress if I was never going to reach the ultimate end—perfection? Even Winston Churchill agrees about irony of perfection: "They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds." Something about knowing I could reach an end where everything would finally be perfect seems incredibly fulfilling and calming for me. But today I know that aiming for perfection is entirely futile. Perfection is a moving target, in fact, it's an illusionary moving target. Waiting to start enjoying my life until things look perfect is a deceptive way to keep me from living. Although many may want more friends, a better relationship, a more elaborate wardrobe, to lose weight, and/or better grades, life doesn't change that much if one attains all the above. The wrapping paper may be different, but the gift inside is exactly the same. Enjoying the present is a habit that takes practice. For this moment, how can you measure the good in your life? How can you appreciate whatever is in front of you? Although I encourage you to pursue your dreams and do your best to attain your goals and desires, practice living today for today, not for the expectation of a better tomorrow. Another side of perfectionism is punishing ourselves when we are human. Being human means we make mistakes. We all say things we don't mean, do things we shouldn't, and act out from time to time. In my experience, it is harder to forgive myself than it is for the person who I have hurt to forgive me. I can't seem to let myself off the hook for being imperfect. But I'm human, and I am imperfect…and it'll always be that way. Today, I try to love myself for it. Every day do the best you can. As cliché as this may sound, that is ALL that is ever expected of you. Give up the need to be perfect, and bask in the triumph of becoming your most genuine self—because a truly beautiful thing is never perfect.

Although the stress of shopping period may have subsided, staying sane at Columbia is still harder than most people acknowledge. From being in denial that winter break is really over to handling coursework that seems to chain you to the Butler reference room, it may seem like anxiety is inevitable, as we explored in last week's Eye. So how does one excel academically and still retain a smidgen of their serenity at this demanding institution? I've got three steps for you to achieve Zen in the middle of the city. These may seem intuitive, but an earnest reminder of what our parents like to tell us while at home never hurts, right?more Go outside and change up your environment. Although this may mean wearing two pairs of pants, a knit hat, and that puffy North Face, New York does offer spots of sunlight. Getting out of your room, lifting your head from your Lit Hum reading, and actually inhaling fresh air may make life feel a little more manageable. But you needn't go too far - take a walk in Riverside Park, venture off campus to the new Urban Outfitters on 100th street (artificial lighting, but indoors nonetheless!), or consider skating at Central Park's Wollman Rink. Spend some time alone. If we don't live with our friends, then we eat, study, go to class, and party with them. Sometimes, the lack of personal space and dearth of time to unstress takes more of a toll than we'd expect. So take an evening off from your social life. The time spent alone doing WHATEVER relaxes you or makes you smile will only improve your mood for future social outings. Get in bed and watch re-runs of Sex and the City or the Knicks game. Pick up Vine to-go and enjoy not needing to talk to anyone but Carrie and Amar'e Stoudmire. Learn to be alone, and enjoy it – it's a rarity in a city pushing 8 million. Keep things in perspective. Sometimes it seems like that Frontiers of Science or First-Year Seminar grade are a life or death situation – deciding grad school, job security, and all future happiness. Be easier on yourself. You got a B, so what?! Although hard to believe, stressing endlessly and writing angry CULPA reviews doesn't actually change the grade. No matter how imperfect your grades or stressful the work, accept that you'll mess up sometimes. Mistakes make you human, and getting through your college education will be so much easier and carefree if you can actually see that a grade is just that - a grade. Check out the most recent issue of The Eye, Spec's weekly magazine. And make sure to follow us on Twitter for pithy cultural updates throughout the week!

Sometimes I wonder how it's possible that the bad luck of the entire universe falls on my shoulders in one day — I step in a puddle of melted snow, I spill my latte on my new sweater, I get a B on a paper I chained myself at Butler to write, and a boy I've been eyeing for the past three weeks still doesn't acknowledge my existence.  As clichéd as it may sound, life is clearly a bumpy ride. So how does one learn to be happy even when the rough moments seem to outweigh the good ones? more It's extremely important to know you're not the only who has to overcome challenges. It's so easy to completely lose perspective in the midst of what seems like chaos. But remember that just because the grass looks greener on the other side, it doesn't mean that it is. Everyone has moments when they think that bad things only happen to them. So maintain your sanity by thinking rationally  — recall times in the past where you've felt sad or pissed off or unlucky, and realize that you no longer feel frustrated about those things. The very nature of emotions is that they flow through your body. They pass, and you move on. People say that hope is knowing that the feeling you have isn't permanent. So if you're feeling down about a bad day, or a breakup, or just because, cherish life's impermanence. This too shall pass, because everything always does. Another tool is to look at everything that happens through a lens of gratitude. Oftentimes, when I'm experiencing difficulties, I feel as though my world becomes very little, and I can't see past the situation causing me suffering. I forget that I'm healthy, that I have a family that loves me, that I live in my favorite city in the world, and that things are actually so much better than my head is telling me they are. When I feel like a grey cloud has descended on my life, I write down 10 things I'm grateful for. While this may sound like some cheesy self-help method, I'm surprised every time at how my mood skyrockets. The key to dealing with the cards life hands you is acceptance and perspective. Learn to be grateful for what you do have instead of what you don't have. See that a bad mood or a bad day will pass, and there is more out there than whatever you're experiencing. A philosopher once said that  he saw the glass neither half full nor half empty, but completely full — 50 percent with water, 50 percent with air. So just because things may be going wrong, things are also going right.

Whoever says that the Oscars are primarily about movies is seriously mistaken. Rather than the 20+ awards given out to Hollywood's best and brightest, media coverage focuses much more heavily on the gals, the gowns, and the glam of Oscar fashion. We've honored this tradition and rounded up this year's best and worst dressed. BEST 1. Milla Jovovich Milla's sequined off-white gown, old-Hollywood inspired hair, and red lips took the red carpet to another era. Her Elie Saab gown was elegant and high fashion, making this actress' Oscar debut unforgettable and proving that winter white never goes out of style. 2. Giuliana Rancicmore In the past couple months Guiliana has gone through a double mastectomy and fought breast cancer with beauty and grace, and her Oscar ensemble embodied those same two traits. Her ethereal Tony Ward couture gown, sleek bun, and simple yet stunning jewelry, land this empowering female high up on the best-dressed list. 3. Michelle Williams After a disastrous animal print dress at the Golden Globes, fashion critics feared that the end was near for Michelle Williams. However at this year's Oscars, her coral Louis Vuitton dress with a bustier top and teared skirt was whimsical and show-stopping, taking Williams out of the fashion police's radar. She accessorized with an unexpected bow brooch, and her sleek, short hairdo brought the adorable outfit together with a bang. WORST 1. Sarah Hyland Aside from wondering why this actress was even at the Academy Awards in the first place, I found myself seriously questioning if she didn't realize that David's Bridal was not a suitable place to get your dress for such an event. The purple/grey dress was baggy, wrinkled, and very unflattering to her nonexistent chest. Confusion all around! 2. Natalie Portman I would expect more than an homage to Minnie Mouse and badly dressed eight year olds from this 2011 Oscar Winner. She claims her look was fifties-inspired, but I think she meant fugly-inspired. The Christian Dior dress which actually was from 1954, drowned the pretty actress, and not in an award-winning bathtub. 3. Meryl Streep What a disappointment from Ms. Miranda Priestly herself! Although she took home the award for Best Actress, Meryl's gold lamé gown (read: tablecloth) was nothing to be awarded. The Oscars are for winning the golden statuesque trophies, not dressing like them.

2011 is winding down, exams are picking up, and here at The Eye we're feeling all sorts of bittersweet about our last issue of the semester. To commemorate a year well done (or just plain done), this week's lead story features nine editor's opinions on the Best of 2011. Over the next couple of days we'll be featuring additional stories on Spectrum—today, check out Liana Gergely's Best of 2011, with the "Best Time I Felt Like I Went to a State School." The alarm rings at 9 a.m. and I roll myself out of bed. After a shower and a few quick Facebook stalks, I put on my blue and white football jersey, white converse, and place a sticker of a bubble-lettered C on my cheek. I obviously straighten my hair and put on makeup because pictures from this day are the Columbia version of the royal wedding. Three parties, a shuttle bus, and a couple of Twitter updates later, I officially attend Columbia State University. moreSuch school spirit is so rare here, that it is coined "Christmas" among my peers. Aside from the fact that menorahs and dreidels are more my choice of festivity, if I was to imagine Christmas Eve it would be something like the joy and excitement of Columbia Homecoming. The best part of that October day was neither the 15 minutes I was actually in the stadium, nor the overpriced hot dog I ate once I left, but instead the feeling that by taking up life at 116th and Broadway, I may actually get the classic, "what you see in movies" college experience one, or maybe two, days a year. Being a strong, beautiful, Barnard woman, I'm used to taking on more than I can handle, overachieving, and socializing with my peers about becoming the first woman president. Beer, football players, and 10 a.m. frat parties? Not so much. Although my experiences are collegiate in their own right, there was something special about feeling like a regular college kid on the morning of a football game. And although I had never heard of Baker Field as a freshman, my Homecoming outing made for good memories—and an even better profile picture. When my friends from high school brag about their weekly tailgates and full sets of school-color apparel, I can confidently say that I've had that experience. Although my festive day of beer and face-paint was special, who needs weekly tailgates when I live in the concrete jungle where dreams are made? Given that life is better in moderation, I'll balance the traditional college lifestyle with feminism and the 1-line any day.

For some of us, midterms seem to start in September and end in December. For others, this week is going to be the most Butler-filled, coffee-guzzling and stress-inducing time of the semester until finals. With your SelfControl App on, and Facebook, StumbleUpon, and Twitter all blocked, you might find yourself searching fruitlessly for another mode of procrastination. Lucky for you, we've got your back. We have compiled a midterm soundtrack to get you through every part of the studying process. more Some Library Motivation: Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO. For when it's a Friday night and you're in the library wearing sweat pants, glasses, and a high ponytail.  This study-chic ensemble is just as sexy as the millions of tight black minis at Mel's. When you're on the edge of a nervous breakdown: Edge of Glory - Lady GaGa. It's 3 A.M. You've somehow managed to re-arrange every document on your desktop, go to the bathroom seven times, and not open your textbook once. You suddenly realize your exam is in a few short hours, and you're freaking out. If Lady GaGa can do it on the edge, so can you. With her pink hair and post-modern attire, GaGa will help you get started, even if you're hours behind. Getting Nostalgic: Forever Young - Youth Group. Amidst scattered calculus review sheets and your CC books, you maybe be overcome by the realization that  you are halfway through another semester at this fine establishment. Perfect for when you're feeling old and that time is passing you by while you live in Butler. While you write a paper: Lotus Flower - Radiohead. When writing your paper you may want to avoid the chance that lyrics such as "boy you got my heartbeat running away" will find their way into your philosophy paper. In order to avoid this subconscious mishap, a more chill, rhythmic Radiohead song is ideal, with lyrics so incomprehensible that it's perfect for typing away. Memorizing flashcards or a foreign language: How It Ends - Devotchka. From the "Little Miss Sunshine" soundtrack, "How it Ends" has a repetitive rhythm conducive to memorizing for maximum cramming and regurgitating on the exam. Reading: Track 1 - Sigur Ros. Music for reading should sound like background music, but not mean elevator music, or what you are forced to listen to while on hold with customer service at Verizon. This artist is soothing and mellow, perfect for catching up on reading, dozing off…the usual. Holocene - Bon Iver. Same deal. A voice that sounds like a warm bubble bath, which is what every college kid needs when all they want is to go to bed. When you need that last push: Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson. Sometimes all that you need to push through a studying slump is a series of deep breaths--- remember, Ingrid believes in you! Power - Kanye West. The first few seconds of this anthem will have you up on your feet. But actually, sit down. Don't embarrass yourself in 209. Gather your power, your espresso double shot, and get it going! When you're done studying: Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine. As you make your way out of Butler and the sun is coming up, rejoice in your great accomplishments.

While I was quote browsing during English class the other day, I came upon a priceless gem of knowledge: "Other people don't hold you back, the belief that you need their approval does." Although not written by William Blake, or belligerently uttered by Charlie Sheen, I knew these words deserved my immediate attention. Coming to college inevitably shook up my confidence. Although I had the exciting opportunity for a clean slate, where no one knew about my brace-face stage in the 7^th grade, or that time I tripped in my dance concert sophomore year, I still found it hard to let go of some of my most ingrained insecurities.more And some days, I believed that other people had the power to build up or break down my self-esteem. This left me quite helpless to external events, as I gave away power over my emotional state to people around me. But, as I read and reread this quote, I realized something incredibly important—my confidence wasn't taken from me, I chose to give it up. Why do we desperately seek approval and validation from the outside world? Do we really believe we're more worthy if our mother says so? Or more beautiful if our boyfriend says so? Or more talented when our coach says good job? Why is it so difficult for us to affirm to ourselves that we are loveable, wonderful, and absolutely fabulous? When we learn to validate ourselves, the ups and downs of the outside world no longer interfere with our pursuit of happiness. Happiness is no longer just something to be pursued, it is something you can actually achieve. As corny as this sounds, sometimes I need reminders that I'm exactly where and who I'm supposed to be.  Try small affirmative post-its in bright colors—they tend to do the trick. One reads "you are enough," the other "you're perfect, all is well," and placing them on my pillow or in my planner helps to remind me that happiness is an inside job. No one can do it for me. It starts with realizing my own worth, and not relying on someone to prove it to me. I've also learned that my own self-love is the only constant in my life. Everything else changes. People come in and out of your life, semesters come and go, friend groups shift. Everything is constantly changing, and I've spent enough years getting nauseous on the roller coaster of life.With no seat belt, every little event would jerk me around giving me no sense of center. Today, my self-love and self-esteem are my seatbelts on this ride called life. Without them, I am unproductive, unhappy, and simply a mess. Thinking anyone else can keep me stable proves to be a flaw of my own thinking. Today I remind myself that the only thing I can count on 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and for as many years as I am alive, is myself. Truth is, I am my most loyal, reliable and positive friend if I choose to be.

With Valentine's Day swiftly approaching, unattached people are constantly reminded by advertisements, news articles, and lots and lots of chocolate, that they're "alone." (Or at least as alone as you can be with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a Pink Snuggie.) But as many spiritual gurus have advised: "Change your perspective, and your life will change." My question is, when did ice cream and one of the softest/most comfortable pieces of bedding ever invented become a bad thing? Being your own valentine not only saves you money (and the need to share candy), but also allows you to enjoy all the happiness self-love and approval offers from the comfort of your own couch. While this may, admittedly, sound like stuff straight out of "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul," these are words to live by. more In today's world, we're constantly pressured to base our worth on the things we can attain from the outside world. Whether it's the perfect internship (perhaps an oxymoron), the hot boyfriend, or the flawless transcript, people with all those things can still find themselves lonely. Really, no quantity of shiny, expensive items or Tyson-Beckford-like people will content us in a way that is actually fulfilling. You try to fill yourself up with men, women, clothes, food, twitter, chocolate (whew!) -  and yet wonder why, when the relationship ends, or you've worn all your new clothes, you feel down. Really, the joys of the external world come and go, and when they go, you find yourself needing something new to provide a reason to be happy. It's a lesson in spiritual sensibility, but also supported by the stuff taught in Economics 101. What about finding something that doesn't come and go? The practice of self-love and self-approval is the cornerstone of enlightenment and discovery, of being, in the end, comfortable in your own skin. You can enjoy your own company and enjoy spending time with yourself - you can make this Valentine's Day an opportunity to show yourself just how great you really are. And even if things aren't going your way, are you really willing to give up your serenity and happiness? Take a second and realize that it's okay to be imperfect. It's okay to be single. It's okay to have failed at something. Love yourself through tough times, and you won't become a hardened person, because tough times don't last but tough people do. Soften your heart (imagine melting chocolate) to your own flaws and let this Valentine's Day be a special day between you and ... yourself.

Although the snow and low temperatures may be deceiving, spring is, in fact, on its way. And with that comes an opportunity for one of my favorite moments of the year—spring cleaning. You throw away old boots that don't fit anymore. You fold cashmere sweaters and put them in the closet to hibernate, and you bring out sandals, jean shorts, and all of your light cardigans. In essence, you put the winter months to bed and wake up to a new season of opportunity and hope. So why, if we are so willing to revamp our wardrobe, get a spring haircut, and rearrange our dorm rooms, do we find it hard to spring clean our own attitudes? Are our familiar ways of thinking and behaving like a too-small, out-of-style cable knit sweater? When winter clothes become futile, we let them go—so why not do the same with self-defeating attitudes?more We all feel most comfortable with things we know: our blanket from our childhood, or a pair of jeans with awkwardly shaped rips we can't seem to let R.I.P. We've all held on to relationships that no longer bring us joy because the thought of something else is too frightening. Moreover, we've all held on even tighter to certain thought patterns because they're really all we know. But who said spring cleaning was going to be comfortable? In fact, the process of letting go of what feels like home is almost intolerable. But when it's over, it feels exhilarating. So take a look at beliefs about yourself that have become second nature. Do you tell yourself you're not good enough, you need to do more, you need to be more perfect, and that situations A, B, and C have to change before you can be happy? Beliefs like those are winter beliefs. They are beliefs of the past that are not only no longer fashionable, but even more importantly, they are beliefs that stand in the way of you being happy, at peace, and present in your own life. If you walked across campus with snow boots and a parka in 80-degree weather, it would seem crazy. Low self-esteem and believing you're anything less than fabulous are equally irrational! Get rid of the boots, and get rid of the insecurity! Spring clean your own spirit to a better life. Literally throw away everything that is not serving you—as much as it may feel like a habit you cannot break. Belief patterns that cause you suffering are nothing more than habits you've cultivated. But like any other habit, with practice, effort, and courage, they are completely changeable. Replace "I need to be perfect" with "progress, not perfection." Replace "I need to work harder" with "I'm doing the very best I can." Replace "I'm not good enough" with "I'm great exactly how I am." And when the spring temperatures make their debut, so will your new and empowered attitude—and that's the trendiest thing of all.