I'm sure we've all noticed how Columbia is doing the most to make our little campus look it's very best (e.g. uncovering the lawns (and painting them green???) and planting pretty flowers all over the place). What is the reason for all is? PROSPIES! That's right, we need to impress the herds of anxious tour groups and also try to persuade all of the on-the-fence seniors/reassure all of the others that Columbia is the best school for them during the upcoming Days on Campus and Perspectives on Diversity events. Since these students will probably be sleeping on our bedroom floors, we at Spectrum have compiled a handy-dandy list of DoC hosting pro-tips!...
Everyone went their separate ways for spring break – some sipping mai tais in Florida, others taking shots of tequila in Mexico, and then those who were chugging down Chateau Diana in the comfort of their John Jay single. But, alas, all good things must come to an end, and now it's time to round out the latter half of spring semester....
Dear future housing lottery number,
Dear people who practice the piano in public lounges,
Remember when you first got here and you thought that every person you met was some inhuman perfect being that obviously deserved to be here more than you? Remember when that vision shattered and you realized that some of these people deserve to be in one of Dante's Nine Circles of Hell?? Yeah, we do too. Channeling our divine comedy, we at Spectrum have composed the Nine Circles of Columbia Hell [insert ominous sound effect here] (listed in no particular order)....