To the man with the bald spot in the ill-fitting suit (sorry I forgot your name),

    Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to interview. I’m sorry our time together was cut short when I climbed out the window, scrambled down the fire escape, and ran the 60 blocks back to my dorm room. I apologize especially for setting off the alarm; I really had no idea your whole building would be forced to evacuate. I can only hope the firefighters who were dispatched were good-looking enough to make up for your lost time.

    Really, I think my nervousness just proves how passionate I am about the job. I know you only saw a girl with trembling hands and obvious pit stains who struggled to complete a sentence and occasionally lapsed into fits of inappropriate laughter. On the inside, though, I was just thinking about how much I desperately wanted this position. I look forward to hearing from you and am excited at the possibility of joining your team— perhaps a little too excited.

Sincerely,

Maura Barry-Garland