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Senior night: it's finally here. You've waited for three long years to finally enter the hallowed grounds of West End/Havana Central/Bernheim. There's lore about this night—you'll drink the night away, according to the 121st Varsity Show. You'll meet a handsome stranger, also a senior. You'll wear a ballgown, you'll find a tray of pizza, you'll finally learn why the calculations had to be performed on the back of an envelope—the expectations are high.

But the bar was low. Here are all of our unmet expectations for senior night 2015—Senior Underground, listen up.

For Senior Night 2015, we expected:

To raise a glass of Champagne like Leo in “The Great Gatsby.”

To learn how to drink from a Champagne flute without worrying about the placement of our nose.

Suddenly have awesome ability to dance in a way that invites both romantic partners and interesting conversation.

Swaths of seniors cheering our entrance.

Long-lost friends from freshman year with tales of hidden crushes.

General musical debauchery.

Fewer beards. To pull off finger-guns.

LitHum trivia night in which no one wins because everyone admits to having fudged the reading.

Same goes for ArtHum, CC, and MusicHum.


Blink-182’s “All the Small Things.”

To discover a love for beer that has, for most of our college career, lain dormant.

Mad beer pong tournament culminating in a rendition of Vitamin-C’s “Graduation.”

A giant pool in the back in which we prove that the swim test indeed has a use.

Baby otters.

To discover an entire community of people worth knowing and achieve a sense of belonging.

Say out loud, once, with certainty, that the night is “on fleek.”

To know quite definitely what “on fleek” means.

Spectacular views of DFMO’s.

For all the people that love “Cheerleader” and all the people that hate “Cheerleader” to finally get along.

We all learn a secret handshake that will get us jobs in the real world.

A living wage post-graduation.

And last but not least—to wait for a maximum of five minutes. FIVE. MINUTES.

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