During move-in week, one of my suitemates attempted to set an empty liquor bottle on the windowsill of our EC suite. Another of my suitemates stopped him, saying "I don't want to be that EC suite." There are some markings of a classic, gross college suite—is that you? Are you those college seniors (or sophomores or juniors or first-years…)? Are you just an average human, messy in a cute way ("no, the clothes on the floor make the home look cozy") or are you just plain filthy? This quiz will help you determine whether you need to clean or whether you really need to clean.
How sticky are your floors?
A. I could eat off of them, but I won't because I also have a very clean table and some very clean plates.
B. Think "movie theater."
C. Think "adult movie theater."
D. I haven't been to class in weeks because my shoes are stuck. Send help.
Where do you store your empty liquor bottles?
A. I clean them and use them to make fun craft projects I find on Pinterest.
B. No one in our suite drinks, but we do display empty nut butter jars.
C. The recycling bin.
D. The windowsill. If I don't display the bottle, did I really drink the booze?
Do you own a mop?
A. One for the bathroom and one for the kitchen.
B. I borrow my RA's every few weeks.
C. My suitemates and I are playing a game of chicken to see who will break down and buy one first. It's been a few months.
D. What's a mop?
Do you wash your tablecloth?
A. Yes, and I replace it every month with a new, seasonally-themed one.
B. Every couple of weeks.
C. When I forget its original color.
D. Do we even have a cloth under all the stuff piled on our table?
What's that on the floor?
A. I dropped my Tide-to-Go pen! Thanks for letting me know.
B. A HamDel curly fry.
C. I have no idea, but someone should really clean it up.
D. Do you mean the cockroach or the muffin it's carrying?
Mostly As: Your suite is as neat and tidy as Martha Stewart's jail cell.
Mostly Bs: Your suite is moderately clean.
Mostly Cs: Your suite is a little gross, but I'll cut you some slack because of midterms.
Mostly Ds: Congratulations, you're living in that EC suite. Now go throw a rager.