The Shaft
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Updated Monday March 7th, 2016. 4:30 p.m.

You've heard stories about it. Seniors have warned you of its ways. Housing tries to bribe you with candy so you are less intimidated by it. The Cage — i.e. the location of in-person housing selection — is the central, and rumored to be the scariest, event of the Housing Games.

So what is “The Cage?” 

Don't fret. The Cage is not an actual cage and you are allowed to leave it … eventually. It's just a magical place where your housing dreams come true (or crumble before your very eyes).

Housing sets up a nice little space in John Jay Lounge for students to visit during their in-person selection time slot. You look at the floor plans of all of the dorms and decide exactly where they want to live. That's honestly it.

Will Nicolas Cage be there? 

If you believe hard enough.

How should you prepare? 

Beforehand, meet with your housing group and decide where you want to live (duh). This is the time to figure out which building and suite you're aiming for, as well as plan your backups.

If you really want to be sure about your future dwelling, you can even swing by the room you've been idolizing to check it out. We've known people to go to rooms they covet, knock on the door and be like, "Hey we're not creepy, but we wanna live here. Care to do an MTV Cribs tour?"

When the Cage opens and in-person housing selection starts, you should follow along with the daily Shaft recaps on Spectrum. They'll tell you what went and what's left.

On your day, you should also stay tuned to the liveblog so you know what's gone by the time you get to The Cage. Because life isn't perfect (thanks, Obama), you might not get your first choice. Come prepared with some backup choices so you aren't flapping around The Cage looking for somewhere to live.

For more info on strategizing housing selection with a group, hit this up.

For more information on the whole process (not just in-person selection), try this.

What should you not do? 

Enter The Cage freaking out, it’s not that big of a deal. Get hyped up on the candy the Housing provides before you pick out your room. Come with literally no idea of where you want to live. Start a fight with your housing group in The Cage à la Real Housewives .

All gifs courtesy of giphy.com.

housing the cage the shaft
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