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Charlotte Voelkel / Head Spectrum Illustrator

I, like millions of other people around the United States, became lowkey (highkey?) obsessed with the Damn Daniel video. To those of you who are haters: What's not to love? It's a 30-second video of one friend (with a voice reminiscent of those ponies in Charlie the Unicorn) talking up his bro Daniel and his nice street style. There's no bullying, stupid challenges, or controversy, just some joggers and really clean Vans.

Unashamedly, Damn Daniel has changed my life and now I see it as my calling to exclusively seek out suitors named Daniel. Because the real Damn Daniel is only 14 (yes, 14) I took to Tinder to find my Prince Dan.

In perfect collaboration with the Leap Year, this weekend I created my first Tinder account and got swiping.

Disclaimer: Sorry you Columbia Daniel's, I made my age preferences starting at  22 years old to ignore having any awkward run-ins.

Another disclaimer: No Daniels' hearts were harmed in the making of this article.

Here are the dashing Dans that I had a privilege of Damn Daniel-ing.

My first Daniel was the perfect embodiment of what every Daniel should be (my standards are basically just knowing the reference, you gotta aim low).

 

I found that the younger Daniels were more apt to understanding what I was talking about. (Sidenote: one of my friends told me that she didn't know who Daniel was and that marked the end of our two-year long friendship).

Damn Daniel, back at it again with only half knowing the quote. A for effort, Dan.

 

 

Other Daniel's understood the Damn Daniel movement and were thoroughly not amused. Yes, the meme may be beginning to get old, but as a Daniel, this is your life now. Sorry.

Damn Daniel, back at it again with the bitterness.

 

Damn Daniel, back at it again with ensuring that the girl you're trying to talk to knows that you go to the gym. I see you Dan.

 

After a while, my Tinder started looking like I had a weird Dan fetish and I was wondering if the Tinder bots would catch on to my experiment.

Damn Camille, back at it again with being creepy af.

Then there were the Daniels who really just didn't get it.

This next one is not quite the reference, although it would have been amazing if Josh (the creator of the video) said "Damn Daniel, back at it again with being beautiful" Flattered, but no.

Unless what I see is a colorful Stussy shirt and white vans, it's a no.

 

Honestly I don't even know what he was going for here. Well, I mean I know but as I said, standards.

 

This is just handful of the Daniel's that I chatted with and all in all, they were pretty chill dudes. If you're looking for a nice Dan to suit your fancy, hit me up and I can find you a soulmate. If you are a Daniel, hit me up and we can be soulmates. I have no doubt that one day the Daniels of Tinder will find love and carry on Damn Daniel for years to come.


All images from JSwipe are courtesy of my friend, Maia. If you're a handsome guy who likes dogs and biking you should hit her up before she has a moment of clarity and deletes her account.

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