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Sachi Thomsen / Staff Illustrator

Sock on the doorknob? Text warning you to stay away? Welcome to college, where the combination of shared living spaces and hormones lends itself to an inevitable sexile situation. Make the most out of an uncomfortable situation with these helpful tips.

Go somewhere new

Take this opportunity to explore the city! Considering that you live in “the city that never sleeps,” this option is applicable at any hour of the day or night. Your roommate’s availability might be unpredictable, but NYC is consistently there for you. Whether it be a 24-hour diner, downtown bar, nearby coffee shop, or museum you’ve been meaning to check out, the city offers many welcoming alternatives to the cold, lonely floor in front of your door.

Follow their lead

If this passionate pastime is occuring at night, you need to seek sleep support. Take advantage of (and a little inspiration from) the situation and use this opportunity to have a sleepover of your own. Finding another bed to crash on might be preferable to the questionably stained couch in the student lounge.

Get it done

When your roommate hands you lemons, make lemonade! They might be busy making love, but you can get busy making grades! Finish up that problem set or get a head start on your philosophy paper. This could be a very productive time for the both of you.

Reap the reward

If your roommate is getting laid, get paid. Take this brief interruption in your daily flow and brainstorm potential reimbursement options. You, dear reader, are a saint. You’re doing your roommate a favor, and they owe you. Revel in your generosity and prepare to cash in the “patient-and-understanding-roommate” card at your next convenience.


When in doubt, get takeout! Your roommate is DTF, which offers you the opportunity to be DTFF (down to friends and food.) While things get hot and steamy in your room, take pleasure in some hot wings or steamed dumplings among the companionship of your platonic pals.


It seems that all roads at Columbia lead to Butler. Conveniently open at all hours, and socially acceptable to inhabit, Butler is your sexile sanctuary. Feel free to relax in Ref, get silly in the Stacks, or buckle down in ButCaf while you wait.

No matter how you look at it, getting sexiled sucks. Though it can force you out of your comfort zone and offer opportunities for alternative activities, you deserve access to your own space. If you’re consistently missing out on the comfort of your own bed or the freedom to stop by and grab your textbook before your next class, it may be time to confront and discuss. Open, transparent communication is critical, and it’s time to reclaim your room. Best of luck!

Staff writer Izzy Mollicone can be contacted at Follow Spectator on Twitter @ColumbiaSpec.

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