In The Loop
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Lola Lafia / Columbia Daily Spectator

The biggest darty of the semester is upon us. With Homecoming a distant (and faded) memory, we’re here to refresh you with some strategies on how to make your day—and night—as hype as possible.

The night before

Don’t go out. Don’t do it. Get a good night’s sleep and save your energy for the long day ahead. You’ll probably dive into the festivities as soon as you wake up, so don’t shoot yourself in the foot before the race has even begun.

Slow and steady wins the race

Unlike your nightly forays, Bacchanal is a time when you need to optimize longevity over impact. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Although shotgunning Four Lokos at 8 a.m. seems like a fun idea, take it easy. The last thing you want is to be CAVA’d before you’ve even arrived at Low Plaza. You might think that chugging fifths of vodka in the middle of the crowd will make you a Bacchanal legend, but it really just makes you miss out. Have fun passing out in a frat backyard while everyone else is out moshing. By consuming substances with lower concentrations consistently throughout the day, you’ll be able to maintain the fun for longer.

Carb up

Food in your system is key to having a happy time. Carbs and fats will be your best friend this Saturday. Think bagels (we hear Carman will be handing some out), oatmeal, or toast. Although the first thing on your mind when you hop out of bed is pregaming, don’t forgo breakfast. Drinking + empty stomach = guaranteed disaster. Similarly, be sure to refuel consistently throughout the day. Whether that means carrying snacks in your pockets (trail mix, granola, etc.), making plans to hit up JJ’s with pals, or frequenting the food trucks that are eagerly awaiting your business this Saturday, don’t forget to feed!

Hydrate or diedrate

Spending your day in the sun in a crowd of sweaty bodies and regularly consuming alcohol is going to dry you out. If you want to avoid feeling like a shriveled up prune with a pounding headache, DRINK WATER. No one wants to be carrying a water bottle when they’re hopping from pregames to frat houses and moshing to SOPHIE but that’s no excuse to turn into a crusty semblance of a human. Humans are 60 percent water, so remember to replenish! Water fountains are easily accessible on campus, and if you have cash handy, you can quickly grab some bottles from the Broadway food trucks (and remember to recycle while you’re at it!). Chug water, and your future self will thank you.

Evening recharge

After the day is done and before the night starts up, there will be a brief lull in festivities. Take this opportunity to recharge. Have a nap, eat something relatively healthy, and refuel your electrolytes with some Gatorade. The evening is recovery time, so catch some z’s before you gather yourself together once more and head out for the night.

The morning after

Expert self-carers will have a bedside kit for their morning after. There’s nothing quite like waking up hungover to a liter of water and some crackers or bread. If you’re feeling a little extra, feel free to prepare these items to be easily accessed in your dehydrated, headache-y state. You can also have some Advil, kombucha, or vegetable juice prepped. Regardless of whose bed you end up in Sunday morning, it’ll be nice to have a little hangover remedy awaiting you in your room.

Buddy system

Don’t forget to keep your buddies in check throughout the day and night! Make sure you communicate ahead of time about how hard you plan to go, and be sure to hold each other accountable. Darties are a lot less fun if your friends start dropping, or if you have to spend the day kneeling on bathroom stall floors holding back hair. And if someone needs help getting back home, take care. Our campus seldom comes together like it does for Bacchanal, so show some love for our Columbia community.

With these tips, this year’s Bacchanal will be one to remember (or forget). Have fun!

Staff writer Izzy Mollicone can be contacted at! Follow Spectator on Twitter @ColumbiaSpec.

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