In the Loop
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Sookeun Jung / Staff Illustrator

This Thanksgiving season, we here at Spectrum are all very thankful to be at Columbia—so thankful, in fact, that we’re writing another article about it. This time though, we’re highlighting a few common things at Columbia that we as students are grateful to be able to complain about.

Of course, we’re just here to poke some fun in the lead up to the Thanksgiving holiday because let’s be real: These are the little things that truly help us come together as a community.

We’re so thankful that Columbia students love dining hall food so much that there never seems to be enough space to sit.

One of the most exciting parts of going to a dining hall during rush hour isn’t just the food but the thrill of having to rush towards any group of people preparing to leave to ensure you get those free seats before anyone else. The thrill of the chase is definitely contributes to the Columbia dining experience.

We’re thankful that we all love dining hall food so much that some students cut the line because they’re just so excited!

We’re very grateful for the variety of food options prepared in the dining halls every day—food that is apparently so good that students have to cut the line to get to it first. We don’t blame you; the rest of us all patiently waiting in line because we, too, are excited to eat.

We’re thankful that the school cares about our fitness and health so much that there are never enough elevators in one building.

Nothing makes us look forward to a 10:10 class more than having to walk up six flights of stairs in Hamilton to arrive sweaty in an overheated classroom. It makes going to class extra exciting in the morning, and we all definitely feel more motivated to not skip when faced with the prospect of that six-flight morning workout. Getting fit has never been so easy at Columbia when every day is leg day!

We’re thankful that we’re all so dedicated to our studies that there’s rarely enough free seats at the library.

Honestly, it’s pretty fun walking around Butler trying to find an empty seat—it seems like you discover a new room or corridor every time. It’s like your very own Columbia version of “Where’s Waldo.”

We’re thankful that the school cares so much about fire safety that fire alarms will ring at random moments of the night multiple times a semester.

For some unknown reason, the fire alarms seem to be ringing a lot in some residential buildings. On the bright side, now everyone knows what to do if there’s a real emergency.

We’re thankful that we all care about our personal hygiene—so much so that the bathrooms are always occupied and the washers are always full.

It’s great to walk around campus knowing that everyone has taken a shower and is wearing clean clothes, which must be the case if people are always leaving behind hair in the shower and forgetting to take their clothes out of the laundry room.

All in all, though we may deal with some not-so-pleasant situations in our time here, we should truly be thankful to have a community that is able to bond over all these little “just Columbia” things.

Staff writer Lina Bennani Karim can be contacted at Follow Spectator on Twitter @ColumbiaSpec.

Columbia Barnard Thanksgiving Satire
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