goats

If you're planning to celebrate Valentine's Day the classic way by buying flowers and chocolates for your significant other, having a nice romantic dinner, and spending some quality one-on-one time cozying up by a fire, just know that you're doing it wrong. Historically speaking. For those who want a more authentic feel to this day (or those who don't have anyone special to go the classic route with), be true to this day and celebrate St. Valentine for who he really was. Unfortunately, according to most historians, he's not a real guy (at best a combination of many different people). Fortunately, that won't stop you from having fun.

Some games stand out for their compelling stories, their massive award-winning studio creators, or their mind-numbing strategic depth. Other games break the boundaries of what we consider gaming altogether. Other games create a genre anew of the video game as a fully realized work of art. Other games are "Goat Simulator," which was released on April 1 and has since gained crazy popularity, with its trailer currently just shy of reaching five million views. America must know about this paradigm-changing game: When I wrote my "Most Anticipated Video Games of 2014" post, I looked through previews of game after game designed to give the player more control, more initiate, more power. But in "Goat Simulator," you are a god---a fuzzy, bleating god! Look at what these goats can do, and now imagine if they had the power to fly, launch giant objects, and terrorize humanity. Anything is possible! more In other games, players search out the funniest glitches they can find, spending painstaking hours looking for the perfect moment to post on YouTube. But the creators of "Goat Simulator" promise over a thousand glitches! And the best part is that it will have the tools for constant community support, even for a game that allows you to jet-pack abduct glitch humans on launch day. Plane simulator, train simulator, farming simulator, digital combat simulator, even surgeon simulator. The rush of simulators onto the game market have been fueled by a desire to introduce the complex, punishing difficulty of real-life operations to games today. Goat Simulator exists for the exact opposite reason. It is here to break your reality, to chew it up like the pant-leg of your uncle when he tries to take you inside the petting zoo! This game will smash through the human dominated gaming industry like a wrecking ball! "Goat Simulator" is available for $10 on the computer app Steam or on the "Goat Simulator" website, and trust me, your computer can handle its technological requirements and that problem set can wait.